no one gets to tell me if I've lost or if I've won

I AM SITTING AT MY DESK. IN MY BEDROOM. WITH THE COMPUTER PLUGGED IN. IT IS A GLORIOUS FEELING.

...something about the current arrangement of the room, with the desk in the bedroom and all also makes me feel like I'm sixteen again and I don't know why. We shall disregard that feeling for the moment.

I haven't really been able to focus on anything today. I managed to beta a fic for lionessvalenti, and I cleaned up the cast list because _chibidragon_ reminded me that hey, I was going to finish the activity check... yesterday, but besides that? Cannot pay attention to anything for longer than five, maybe ten minutes. It sucks.

You should all go look at the cast list though, because it's just so pretty. I shoved Julia and Martin to NPC status - Julia because I can't keep her active but I do want a first angel still in Chicago, Martin because all his CR keeps dropping or dying, but I couldn't convince him to go to Colombia. Yeah, now he gets attached to Chicago. Go figure. So now I have thirteen characters, and two of those are doomed to die (or... something) at some point in the nearish future. \o/

And... both Twitter and LJ notifications are failing me today, so if I seem like I'm ignoring you or your tags or anything today, I'm not. Technology just hates me.

...yeah, I'm gonna go write now. Or at least pretend to until I have to fall into bed. I'm getting really good at that "pretending to write" thing. Not so much the actual writing.

EDIT: Okay, I forgot that it is still cold at night, and the bedroom with the door closed is cut off from any source of heat. BRB, finding ways to not freeze to death.

1. Today is incredibly gray and rainy. This actually makes me incredibly happy, except for the vague concern that Beka will crash and die on her way to work (but I have that when it snows, and when it's icy, and when it's dark, and a lot of other times, so that's not really unique to rain). Also the fact that our driveway is now a horrific mudslide waiting to happen (or... maybe I'm paranoid because I grew up in Southern California and that is not so much a concern here). BUT ASIDE FROM THOSE THINGS, the rain is lovely and makes me happy, though it was nicer when it was coming down heavier and I could have music on and hear it at the same time.

2. I HAVE A NEW PLAN FOR PRODUCTIVITY. And that plan is that I should really reconquer my desk from the cats - I haven't been using it much, because none of the outlets on that side of the house work, which is dumb and one of the many reasons I'd like to set my landlord on fire, but... anyway. The cats have claimed it as theirs in my absence and tend to get all stroppy when I try to use it. Well. Simba gets stroppy, and then sits there by my wrist and glowers. Michael just wants on my lap so he can drool on me.

Once conquest of the desk is accomplished, I will do tags on Gwen (my internet computer) for as long as her battery lasts over here. And then I get to plug her back in, bring Sarah Jane (the netbook, which is for writing) over to the desk, and write things until her battery runs out. And then... repeat the process. That may be unnecessarily complicated, but I don't care. I WILL BE VICTORIOUS.

...though productivity is a lot easier when just sitting upright doesn't make me feel exhausted. There's really not a lot I can do about that.

3. ...I really kind of miss my icons on this account. I didn't really realize it until yesterday, when I was writing a lot at comment_fic, but... I have no more angsty Doctor icons left! Or Doctor/Martha! THIS IS A TRAGEDY. (...I am okay with only having one Supernatural icon left. Because it's Jo, and she's awesome.)

So I just spend an hour or so downloading and installing an old version of Petz that I don't need a CD for. It was totally worth it. MY CHILDHOOD! Yes, I am a total dork, you guys.

And now, I am going to finish the first chapter of my Big Bang and fiddle with spoilerpatrol's journal. For... reasons.

If I finish that chapter of my Big Bang, I may then work on replotting the last part of On a Saturday. I miss On a Saturday. And I know new people now that I would like to introduce to that universe. ...yes, I treat my own verses like fandoms. WHAT OF IT?

Evie's sleep schedule and mine are not syncing up. I've decided to fix this by... staying up until the NEXT time she sleeps. WE'LL SEE HOW THAT GOES. It may require so much coffee. That can be done. And anyway, it can't be any worse than that one time I stayed up waiting for Evie to get home from the airport and it had been about 48 hours without sleep for both me and Jaqui and there was tagging with Gene and Sam... That was fun.

If this one person on tw100 doesn't stop reviewing every drabble anyone posts with the same two-word comment, I swear I'm going to punch them. Or go and spam their last twenty posted stories with the same comment, but they might actually take that as a compliment, so maybe not.

I slept about four or five hours last night. ...this morning. Whatever. Didn't mean to, I just went to bed at five or six AM, woke up around ten... I also walked into a door last night. In my defense, I was trying to avoid turn on any lights so I wouldn't wake Evie and Jaqui, but... the point still stands. I walked into a door.

I've been kind of... twitchy lately, just in that... every time one of my friends talks about school, I feel sick. And... you know, I don't really mind that much - I'm not trying to guilt trip anyone about it or anything - I just... I'm jealous. God, I'm jealous. I want to be in school and it's just looking like less and less of a possibility and I absolutely hate that. I feel inferior and like a complete failure, and it doesn't help that this is exactly what my mother predicted would happen before I went to school, and I hate her for saying it and I hate myself for proving her right.

Whatever. I'm just going to... stop before I have to cry or punch things.

I figured I would throw one of these up since everyone else is doing it and I already had an account on the site...

Get your own valentinr

HAH! I finally got GoogleDocs to work correctly and recognize that my folders exist! Take THAT, GoogleDocs, you bitch!

...Yes, this was totally important enough to merit its own post. Oh yes.

So. If I were to write massive amounts of fic about Torchwood One, because sometimes I can't help myself... and all the dialogue kept coming out sounding like Sports Night but with aliens in... would this necessarily be a bad thing?

Purely hypothetical question, of course. Really.

Also, as Christmas approaches, I'm feeling a pressing desire to watch Christmas episodes of things. Mostly "The Christmas Show" and "In Excelsis Deo" and "Amends" and "The River of Stars". I might have to arrange for this to happen.

Evie just accidentally sprayed red juice at me. Just a little, but it hit my hand and I had a weird and disturbing thought process along the lines of "The ceiling's dripping. Is there a hole in the ceiling? Is that BLOOD?" ...and then my brain went to predictable places from there. Or at least predictable if you know that I've been reading Supernatural fic that I saved on my laptop earlier this morning.

Speaking of Supernatural, we decided it must take the boys fucking long to get absolutely anywhere. Because it looks like they're driving on state roads ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Boys! How do you get anything done, ever? ...that's all.

I finished that fic, by the way! I'll need to rewatch Aliens of London/World War III and Army of Ghosts/Doomsday before posting it, but I finished it. Now I can actually... do other things.

In other news, we're leeching internet from a Holiday Inn, and GoogleMaps estimates we have about six hours to go. No snow so far, but... um... not holding out much hope for that continuing. Wish us luck!

...I also still need a new coat, but Evie's letting me use her trenchcoat until we get to Iowa City and I can get something there. It is a nice trenchcoat. It makes me feel like Harry Dresden.

So Thanksgiving was good. Had a moment of near-spaz, but I got over that. Got my youngest brother to eat way more pie than was wise so that he could punch my other brother in the stomach as hard as he could (he's ten, the other brother's seventeen, it's not a big deal, it was just FUNNY). THIS IS MY FAMILY, GUYS.

We are in Virginia now, near the border, and soon to be heading out so that we can has a Chris later today! OMGYES! ...But before we leave, I have to copy and save a few people's fics, so that I can catch up on stuff.

I have HOURS AND HOURS IN THE CAR. And Evie's probably going to be doing most of the driving today because... it's looking like rain and I cannot drive in rain. (I had a thing once with a storm in the desert and a semitruck and it was bad.) So reading it is! ...And finishing that damn fic I started.

*Sigh* I am having the biggest problems with focus today. I should be caught up, but I just... can't sit down and write. Granted, all the Rift activity in the past couple days more than makes up for any trouble writing, but... still. (You guys. I'm not sure you realize, but the Rift is my biggest fandom these days. It's awesome, because every day I get to go "YAY NEW CANON!" ...Except not so much lately, because it's been on NaNo hiatus. So it's EXTRA YAY for new canon!)

But yeah. You can tell that my failure at writing is bad when I'm going "You know, I don't feel like writing for NaNo now. How about I write the last chapter of TBYAT?" THAT is the story I'm supposed to be stalling on! That's the story I'm always putting off! When that is the story I want to run away and hide in... I need help.

Or lots of coffee. I have that, so we'll see how that goes.

But yes. I'm looking forward to the end of NaNo now, because it means I get to finish TBYAT. I'm also looking forward to it because it means I get to plot the series with EPIC ANGELIC ROADTRIP. There is nothing not cool about badass angels (alright, one of them isn't so badass) and an epic roadtrip where they KILL THINGS.

...I'm so easy to please sometimes.

Guys, this is why I love the kids at beyondtherift. You know, beyond the chaos and high mortality rate.

magistrate: Proposition.
Jaqui: Possible response.
magistrate: Addendum.
Jaqui: Irelevant tangent.
Evie: Quasi-related exclamation!
magistrate: Acknowledgement and amusement at irrelevant tangent. On-topic caveat and disclaimer.
thiefofvoices: Expression of dismay!
Kawaiispinel: Confused punctuation mark.
magistrate: Clarification.
thiefofvoices: Clarification.
*** Evie changed the topic to: topic reflecting humor of chat
Kawaiispinel: Emoticon reflecting amusement.
thiefofvoices: Similar emoticon, typed at almost the same time as Chris's.
Jaqui: Accusation of Chris stealing voices again.
Evie: Overly enthusiastic use of punctuation after similar emoticon
thiefofvoices: Phonetic spelling of whatever amused noise I might have made.
Ai: Silence.
Jaqui: Mention that the humor killed the chat.

In other news, Hart and Thane make my soul want to cry.