no one gets to tell me if I've lost or if I've won

I'm at the airport. Haven't gone through security yet, because I have an outlet and a comfy chair here, and neither of those things seem to exist on the other side of security. I have an hour and change until my flight, and no one is awake on the internet to keep me entertained. And also, there are no tags in my inbox. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Today is one of those days I just... can't be myself out in the world. I have a lot of those when I actually have to interact with humans who aren't my people. Luckily for me, I never grew out of some things, so pretending to be someone else works just fine for me.

The Doctor is my favorite, especially when I'm travelling, for obvious reasons. I keep a sonic screwdriver in my bag as a matter of course. But being the Doctor requires a lot of energy I so don't have right now - on top of which, those trainers and airport security do not mix well. I'm just saying.

Harry Dresden is a good backup, and another one of my favorites lately - although I always end up annoyed by how short I am then. His pentacle's also in my bag right now, just in case I need something to throw at werewolves, but being Harry also requires something I can't find right now. There's this sort of bone-deep, unconscious confidence that he can handle anything the universe throws at him, and that's just not coming this morning.

So I'm Emily Prentiss today. She doesn't have that energy, or that confidence, but she's good enough at faking both that sometimes she can even fool herself. Her costume's simpler and a lot less obvious than the boys' - no trainers or talismans or trenchcoats, nothing I don't wear anyway when I'm being myself. In a lot of ways, she is me, just an extrovert where I'm the furthest thing from it, but shrugging Emily on like a coat is what it took to get me out of the house today.

I probably won't be myself for the rest of this trip, either. It's exhausting, even - sometimes especially - with my family. Pulling on someone else means I get to keep pieces of myself to myself, and I much prefer it that way.

And now that you're all thinking I'm a complete loser, and I've wasted an hour or so writing this post and screwing around on the internet, I think I'm going to head through security now. I'll do myself to let you all know I'm alive when I get to DC. &heart;

Okay, happy things today, damn it.

1) There are yellow flowers in my bedroom in a wine bottle. It just makes me smile.

2)
AWESOME LADIES FICATHON! Because it's more productive than hunting down CBS network execs and setting them on fire. There is also a Dreamwidth version, which is where I'm posting all my prompts, because it is much smaller and needs some love. Go post prompts or pick a prompt to write for, on LJ or DW! (And if you write a fic, link me when you're done?) Because there can never be too much fic about awesome girls.

3) dlfkjdlfdjk DOCTOR WHO TOMORROW. Or, rather, later today. Don't fuck this up, Moffat. I don't thiiink he will, but there's at least one way I can think of that the whole thing can go horribly wrong, and then I'll have to kill things or burn down Vancouver Cardiff or something. Despite that small bit of nervousness, though, I'm mostly excited and fidgety and cannot wait.

4) I have been nesting in my childhood for the past week or so. By which I mean... my dad sent me a box of books? And that box contained some of my Valdemar books - not all of them, but my favorites, and OMG SPARKLY PONIES.

Although now I am terribly tempted to write ill-advised crossovers. Incredibly ill-advised crossovers. Realizing what a bad idea it is doesn't make me want to do it any less.

Top five things from kawaiispinel and yetregressing. You can still ask for other top five things here, if anyone's interested. The following lists are in no particular order, so don't put too much stock in where something falls on the list. I'm too lazy to organize these things.

( Top Five Torchwood Episodes )

( Top Five Epic Fics You'd Love to Write One Day )

( Top Five Fiction Kinks )

( Top Five Favorite Moments in the Rift )

( Top Five Favorite Stories You've Written )

( Top Five Favorite Teams in Fiction )

( Five Characters You Wish You Could Write But Just Can't )

( Five Shows I'd Recommend to yetregressing )

You know, randomly? I really, really wish people would put word counts on their fic. I don't even need a specific word count. You can round it to the nearest hundred or whatever. Just a general ESTIMATE... Is it really so hard?

...And this has been your bitchy whining for the day. Carry on.

My eye randomly hurts. So do other parts of my body, but my eye hurts when I BLINK. What the hell? I am so not pleased by this. At least my lungs are starting to forgive me for Florida's existence! I mean, I still have random coughing fits, but they are nowhere near as bad as they used to be.

Magi and L are attempting to keep us from leaving. By threatening us with further concussions and poison and abduction vans. This is how you know they love us.

The Eljay Secret Santa Fic Meme
People should request things here. Because there are only a few requests I can actually write on there and I want to.

I usually have people request fic from me for Christmas, but I can't guarantee I'll actually be able to write anything this year. (Although if people do have Christmas fic requests, they can absolutely ask me! I like writing things for people! ...I just can't guarantee it won't be given to you much, much later than Christmas.)

My sleep schedule is so ridiculously fucked up. I am not pleased with it. It is, in fact, so ridiculously fucked up that I went to bed at 10 PM last night, woke up at... 2 AM? 4 AM? Something like that? And then fell asleep again an hour or an hour and a half later and slept until noon. WTF, why?

Grah. I need caffeine right now. Lots and lots of caffeine. I just really don't want to go to the trouble of working the coffeemaker. *Grumble*

Val is coming down next weekend, on the train! Yay, I can has a Val! I am going to have to clean the house before she gets here. And flail at Evie over taking out trash and things. Not so much because Val will care as because I'm neurotic.

And I swear, if the upstairs neighbors don't stop stomping around, I will go up there and kill them with my shoes. WITH MY SHOES. My head hurts enough as it is without them adding to it.

Here, have a meme! Courtesy of settiai...
Companion Me!
Which companion (or Doctor Who character that might not be a proper companion) do I remind you of? Why?

I apologize to those of you on my flist who don't give a crap about Doctor Who. Here's another one, because it amuses me terribly:
OTP Me!
Ship me with someone - any fandom at all. Explanations as to why would be highly appreciated.

I'm gonna go... try and write now... I need to poke at various On a Saturday characters so they'll actually be around for my NaNo. (Instead, I'm writing some angels who have nothing at all to do with what I'm planning for NaNo... It happens.)

So I should probably be doing things other than running through my bookmarks and nominating things for skiffy_awards (and being vaguely disappointed certain fics aren't posted yet so I can't nominate them), but Doctor Who/Torchwood only has, like, three nominations over there, and that is just wrong. I'm easily distracted by shiny things.

I should probably at least get food, though. And coffee. That sounds like a good idea. And then I have threads to get to. Most of them are not so bad. But there's the one with Gwen and Hart that will lead to Gwen's untimely death, and that's going to be no fun at all for me. Bah. Stupid Hart.

I suppose I can distract myself with writing the angst of unintentional hilarity, that is only funny because Donna is... Donna. We'll see how well that works. Yes.

So, Evie and I got our apartment today. It's actually very nice, and will be nicer once there is, you know, stuff in it. That happens tomorrow, when Evie and her parents bring her old bedroom set from their house. Then we'll at least have a bed and dresser and bookcase and all, and we'll be getting a couch from Harmony whenever we can actually arrange transportation... We moved a bit of stuff over today, but there's just nowhere to put anything right now, save for some shelves in the closet.

And since Jill asked earlier, if anyone was wondering, internet's getting set up tomorrow morning, so we won't be gone for any length of time at all.

I also need to call the Walgreens district office tomorrow, because it's been two weeks since I worked, and the fact that they haven't transferred me or even tentatively placed me yet has got Evie's coworkers telling her I need to call the district office. Way to fuck us over, Walgreens. Rawr.

I finished reading Dogsbody last night (well, rereading), and oh, I forgot how much I loved that book, even though it's one of my absolute favorite books. It's by Diana Wynne Jones, and if you guys have never read it, you need to. Pretty, pretty British fantasy with stars and Celtic-ish mythology (it has the Wild Hunt in it! *Glees*) and just... yes. Read it. Seriously. I vaguely want to app Sirius at some RP, but he would be so hard to play. Because he's a dog. Or a freaking star. But still.

And now I'm reading Valiant by Holly Black. I don't know why I do this to myself, because it always makes me wibble, because Holly writes the City so well. And it's mostly set in the Village and Central Park, which are my favorite parts of the city. But it's such a lovely book, and the only one on my bookshelf I was in the mood to read after having finished Dogsbody. I need more books I haven't read before. It's freaking me out a little that I don't have any. It's an odd state of affairs for me.

EDIT: The Colbert Report brings you the other side of the story.

Comment with one of my fandoms, and I'll reply with:

01. The first character I first fell in love with
02. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now
03. The character everyone else loves that I don't
04. The character I love that everyone else hates
05. The character I used to love but don't any longer
06. The character I would shag anytime
07. The character I'd want to be like
08. The character I'd slap
09. A pairing that I love
10. A pairing that I despise

And the interests meme, since Evie's been so kind as to hold the power cord in while I do it... Got tagged by zorabet. ^^

( feeling electric, jason robert brown, lullaby of broadway, notebooks, chess the musical )

Tag me and I'll pick five of your interests. ^^