no one gets to tell me if I've lost or if I've won

I AM SITTING AT MY DESK. IN MY BEDROOM. WITH THE COMPUTER PLUGGED IN. IT IS A GLORIOUS FEELING.

...something about the current arrangement of the room, with the desk in the bedroom and all also makes me feel like I'm sixteen again and I don't know why. We shall disregard that feeling for the moment.

I haven't really been able to focus on anything today. I managed to beta a fic for lionessvalenti, and I cleaned up the cast list because _chibidragon_ reminded me that hey, I was going to finish the activity check... yesterday, but besides that? Cannot pay attention to anything for longer than five, maybe ten minutes. It sucks.

You should all go look at the cast list though, because it's just so pretty. I shoved Julia and Martin to NPC status - Julia because I can't keep her active but I do want a first angel still in Chicago, Martin because all his CR keeps dropping or dying, but I couldn't convince him to go to Colombia. Yeah, now he gets attached to Chicago. Go figure. So now I have thirteen characters, and two of those are doomed to die (or... something) at some point in the nearish future. \o/

And... both Twitter and LJ notifications are failing me today, so if I seem like I'm ignoring you or your tags or anything today, I'm not. Technology just hates me.

...yeah, I'm gonna go write now. Or at least pretend to until I have to fall into bed. I'm getting really good at that "pretending to write" thing. Not so much the actual writing.

EDIT: Okay, I forgot that it is still cold at night, and the bedroom with the door closed is cut off from any source of heat. BRB, finding ways to not freeze to death.

1. Michaelcat is wrestling with a shoe. I think the shoe is winning.

2. I HAVE FOUND THE MOST WONDERFUL THING EVER. I have my big laptop set up on the table just behind my netbook, and I can play with them both using the keyboard and mouse from my netbook. I've been bouncing the cursor back and forth between the screens just because I can, and it is so cool. And I'm not going to lie, it makes me feel kind of badass working on two computers at once. Like Tosh, but without the super cool desk setup.

Now, hopefully, I can use this to be slightly more productive, instead of... using it to find new ways of procrastinating.

3. That productivity thing has not been going well, by the way. Part of it is that I'm very low-level sick right now - not enough that the sick is bothering me in itself, but it's making me feel very... off and just not myself. And it makes it very hard to write. And I've been trying to do tags, but all my character voices feel off. Bah. I think I'm getting over it, though? A little? Sorta?

4. I really need to get started on tardis_bigbang. Re...started. I mean, I already have 5000 words, but my concern is really less the word count and more that the story gets finished. I need to find the kind of motivation I get at the very beginning of November, because that would power me through the whole thing with no problem.

But first, catching up on original writing. I WILL BE VICTORIOUS.

5. Curry powder is not cinnamon, and I am so very glad I remembered this before I put the incorrect spice in my coffee.

6. Sometimes it is very worthwhile to just stand outside for a while and be snowed on. I don't know why, but it made me feel much better about life.

ETA: 7. I need to learn that I should not listen to Aim for the Head until the sun is up. Because EVERY TIME I listen to it when it's dark and I'm alone, I start getting paranoid about the zombie apocalypse outside my door. WAY TO GO, SELF.

...it probably doesn't help that I've watched Shaun of the Dead four times in the past week. And 28 Days Later twice. And Slither once. Shut up.

I am still alive, in case anyone wondered, and now (as of yesterday) legally able to buy alcohol. Hooray!

We may have a place to live some time next week - it is not ideal, as it's kind of small, still has the problem where I can't go anywhere Beka doesn't drive me, and has no bathtub, just a shower, but it's only temporary. We're planning to find a better place in spring or summer, whenever some of the students clear out and give us a few more options. (Besides the lack of bathtub, which is disappointing because I tend to take baths when I am just too cold to warm up any other way, it isn't a half-bad place to stay for winter, because there's room for Ace to run around in the snow. Ace. Loves. Snow. It's adorable.)

All of this is assuming the landlord was not serious about the part of the lease where it says the cats need to be declawed. He probably isn't, as he didn't write it himself, and he didn't mention it when we talked to him, but if he actually was serious about it, the answer is FUCK NO and we're back to square one. Mrrph.

Something in my shoulder has knotted up horribly and will not let go. I still have some of the painkillers from my ear infection, so I've been using those when it gets horrible - it doesn't so much stop the pain as stop me caring quite so much about the pain, but it's the best I can do. When I run out of that... I dunno. I'll probably see how well vodka works as a muscle relaxant in this case.

I need to start putting together stuff for NaNo. I'm not doing a proper novel this year, just working on projects that need to be finished up, but I am still going to try to hit 50,000 words in the month. My username over there is the same as here, allfireburns, so if you'd like to add me as a writing buddy over there, go for it! (Of course, putting together stuff for NaNo will probably have to wait until I get the stuff off my hard drive back from Best Buy. ARGH. I am kicking myself for not backing up that plot outline elsewhere, but I was not planning on Gwen freaking out so badly less than a year after I got her.)

EDIT: Ohfuck. And then I go and glance at a former friend's journal, something I should never do, because she wished me happy birthday even though we haven't spoken in more than a year and now I am going to cry.

OH MY GOD. So I unplugged my computer. And pressed the power button on the off chance something would happen. AND SHE TURNED ON.

And when I plugged her in again, everything turned off.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND, BUT I'M KIND OF PISSED NOW. OMGWHAT.

*Flails*

And my battery is very low, so the "not going to be around until I figure out what's going on" still stands. *Headdesks*

Argh. My internet keeps going out at random intervals and I don't know how to make it stop, so I may or may not be around in the next few days, and if I am, it may not be for anything useful.

And on top of that, my paid account is expiring soon. I'm not even sure if I care enough to renew it, but dammit, I like my icons. I'm going to light things on fire.

EDIT: Oh, fuckbears. The Doctor's paid account is expiring soon too. That one I really do care about. *Hates the woooorld*

Going to Pasadena.

Back Sunday.

Riley posted for me on my DW for Blog Like It Isn't You Day.

...That's about all the important information now, I think.

The puppy is going to hate us when we get back. Or... just cling to us, really. A lot.

EDIT: I found my iPod. Finally. It was hiding in my coat pocket the whole time. I feel dumb.

It is really obnoxious to have to stop writing for an hour to do medical research. Gah. MARTHA, I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS. (Although if anyone wondered, this site is a writer's best friend when it comes to trauma and various other medical... stuff.

Also, my wireless radio keeps shutting itself off, so unless that stops... if you don't see me around, that would be why. *Grump*

Considering getting a twitter just so I can spam it with writing flail. Is that a bad idea?

My sleep schedule continues to make no sense whatsoever. On the bright side, I finally woke up at a reasonable hour, for once!

I have discovered, that despite the fact that my Y and U keys are missing, if I hit the spot where the keys SHOULD be hard enough, I get the letter anyway. Yes, this is a pain in the ass, but so is balancing the laptop and the USB keyboard. So it's just a matter of which I have more tolerance for at the moment...

Am slightly twitchy because all four of my main Rift characters are effectively stalled until certain threads are wrapped up - two are in threads, and two I just can't post until I know their reaction to threads that they aren't even involved in. And while I know why those threads are stalled... it's still making me just a little bit grumpy. Okay, really, I just want to play Gwen and Tosh and can't. I suppose this means it should be time to play with my minor characters, then.

Also, I may not be getting thread notifications. I've only noticed it for LOLshadow's account, but if I don't reply to you for a while, poke me to make sure I actually got the notification. I promise I won't mind.

Writing is happening, slowly but surely. I think I'm... roughly on target for my Big Bang, but I'd have to check the schedule. And I may have to rewrite some of what I've written and BAH. I'm gonna go write some prompt fic or something to distract me from that. ...after I wake up my girlfriend. Also at a reasonable hour! Kind of shocking, I know.

Cat broke m keyboard. Can't find some bits. So if I'm not arond, THAT WOULD B WH.

...that's also wh I can't tpe anthing with... the ltters that ar obviousl missing from parts of this post. E ke is also bitch...ee.

Haaaaat. ...that was meant to be another word altogethr. Dammit. Hatrd of the world is less imprssive whn lacking certain lttrs.

I am having alcohol now.

dfj;dkfjdsf;skjd

The sound on my laptop randomly STOPPED WORKING and my wireless radio keeps powering itself off.

Why? WHY?

Fucking... WHY?

EDIT: Okay, it's working now. Again, for no apparent reason... WHAT THE FUCK? I mean, working is better than not working, but I'd still like to know WHY.