no one gets to tell me if I've lost or if I've won

This book. Is just. Oh god what.

Jon... laid his hand on Jack's arm, muscles incidentally tensing magnificently, like weasels in a sack.

Is it just me, or is that image THE FURTHEST THING FROM SEXY? How could you write a line like that and seriously think it was a good idea?

...oh, and in other news, unrelated to weasels, we got all the stuff out of the trailer and into the house. None of it is unpacked, and we need to wait until tomorrow to set up the bed, so we'll be staying another night here with Jae and Caroline, but we are free of the trailer! Yay!

I cannot wait to have the bed back. It is huge, and I will fall on it and sleep forever. Oh god yes. (Also, it smells like Jaqui. I'm if that's a good thing, or if it makes me want to cry.)

I forgot to mention this yesterday in all the flail and "what?", but while we were driving up to Syracuse, we stopped at a gas station and totally saw Ancient Cy. She was like human!Cy, with the white hair and black trenchcoat and all, but older than Cy's human form. For a little while, Jae and I didn't want her to turn around because we were afraid she'd be a grouchy old lady and ruin it, but then she turned around when we were debating whether or not the gas thingy would be able to reach the car, and apparently found us hilarious. It was awesome.

Dropped Gwen off at Best Buy today. I had them retrieve the data off her hard drive and put it on my brand new external hard drive (who is named Tosh), so I should have that, at least, in a few days. Gwen may not be back for one to two weeks. *Tinyflail* I'm a bit spazzy about sending her away, but I will have all my stuff unless something goes catastrophically wrong (I'm most worried about my music and my OaS plot outline), and if they can't fix her they'll replace her, so there's really nothing to worry about, I just... meh.

And Beka got me a netbook for my birthday. Technically it's both of ours, and I wasn't really expecting a birthday present anyway, but it was relatively cheap and a small thing that we can tote around and use for writing is nice, because Gwen is pretty damn huge as laptops go. She is pink, which normally I would mind, but don't so much since I'm sharing it with Beka. And she does not have a name yet.

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHY THE FIREFOX ON THE LAPTOP TIM LOANED ME KEEPS CRASHING. RANDOMLY. It's not like I have any add-ons, or am even loading pages when it crashes... it just does. It was not doing this last night. *Frown* (EDIT: Okay, never mind. I restarted the computer and it's fine. Pretend that didn't happen.)

TOMORROW. We are finding a storage unit and getting rid of the damn trailer if it kills us, and we are looking for more apartments. Probably in Syracuse. BAH, why is this such an epic quest? I JUST WANT A PLACE TO LIVE. And to give Caroline back her space, because I feel really bad about that.

I have failed at updating the past few days, and I'm sorry for that - it was mostly a result of generalized exhaustion, because driving on wet roads makes me tense and twitchy all day long. Luckily, it cleared up the last few days, and yesterday was lovely and bright and sunny.

We got to see lionessvalenti in Ohio, and stayed the night at her grandmother's house. ...we didn't sleep much. Mostly, we stayed up talking about Torchwood and fandom, tried to write a little, and then... ended up putting on Countrycide, which was either a mistake or the best thing ever, because Tracey got a plotbunny of doom that I will be so very disappointed if she doesn't write.

And then we had a short drive to see yetregressing, who is OMGSOTINEH and adorable and I kind of wanted to steal her and take her with us. ...but that would be wrong, as she has parents who would worry. ONE DAY.

Stayed an extra day in Alliance, because Beka didn't want to drive moar, which was fine except for halfway through the day there was a weird Silent Hill siren we could find no reason for. It was not a tornado siren. I know for sure there were no tornadoes that day.

And then... the trip through Pennsylvania and New York was kind of meant to take two days, but we got to where we were planning on stopping and weren't tired (also, we got confused by the disconnect between mile markers and exit numbers, and briefly thought we'd fallen through a tiny rift somewhere on the highway). We are in Ithaca now, and I'm not sure it's sunk in that we're done driving. I has a Jae and a Pat and a Pen, and we had adventures in Ithaca last night (with too many dots), and today Beka and I will poke around and find a place to live. Wish us luck!

Beka and I had lunch with darthsemicolon today, and she was awesome!

Despite this being the shortest leg of the trip so far, I am randomly exhausted, and probably about to fall asleep as soon as I finish this post. We saw turkeys by the side of the road after lunch, just... hanging out. Watchin' the cars. It was interesting. And then we spent all day driving through Illinois.

I had the most awesome pumpkin pancakes at IHOP. THEY TASTE LIKE OCTOBER. Of course, that may be just because I was starving and threatening to eat the state of Illinois by the time we stopped, but it was still delicious.

...yeah. Bed now. I was so hoping to be productive for a little longer today, but god, I'm tired. GOODNIGHT, INTERNETS.

Still alive.

In Texas now. Texas is very flat. And brown. And has lots of cows. I bet you never could have guessed. We spent most of the day driving into some rather menacing-looking clouds, but thankfully did not get rained on. (Normally, I do not fear rainstorms. I do fear wind and slippery roads and the trailer tipping over and us crashing and dying. ...yeah.)

My brain is dead, which is somewhat annoying. (Also, I'm still slightly adlkfjdldkfjssfs over Turn Coat, which I just finished reading a few hours ago. GAH.) But we got into the hotel earlier than usual, so I'm hoping that after I've had a bath and food and flopped on the bed for a while, I'll be able to concentrate on stuff and maybe come and visit chat.

I MISS YOU, CHAT. I REALLY DO. ...I just fear chatarchy and having no idea what is going on. ♥?

In a hotel - still in Tempe, but out of the damn apartment. Only on for a little bit before collapsing into bed, because dear god, I am exhausted and unable to focus on my laptop screen.

We shall be leaving tomorrow, just as soon as I get the massage Beka has been promising me for a week to make up for all the packing. OMG ROADTRIP. SO CLOSE. Yes, I am this excited about sitting in the front seat of a car for hours and hours a day. It's awesome.

This is your official notice of me not being around for the next couple of weeks. I mean, I'll be around, but only at night when we're in hotels. If anyone needs me for anything dire, emails are definitely the way to go.

Ugh. I slept for twelve fucking hours yesterday, woke up after almost everyone had gone to bed already (or just as they were going to bed), and feel way more exhausted for it than when I only sleep four or five hours. And on top of that, my neck and shoulders and upper arms hurt like hell, my whole body's in a state of vaguely achy, and I feel like crying.

It is frickin' impossible to be productive when I hurt this much, and when I'm not productive, I hate everything and want to kick myself, and it's a neverending cycle of suck. *Grumblemutter* Also, we've got about a week and a half until we move, and still have not started packing. That needs to start soon, because I am not doing the last-minute packing thing again. It will kill me.

So if anyone was wondering how I'm doing... yeah. That's about the shape of it. I hate the world. (Except you, dear flist. I still love you.)

Other things I do not hate (which I must remind myself of so I don't start lighting things on fire) include:
- Pumpkin spice frapuccinos from Starbucks and caramel apple ice blendeds from Coffee Bean. This is the best time of the year for vaguely coffee-like drinks. Jaqui's Ianto may make horrified faces at me over Starbucks, but I don't care. The pumpkin spice things make me happy.
- beyondtherift, as always. We are so close to finishing this plot that's been going on for ages, you guys. So close. And then PLAGUES. No one does epic like the Rift. We're badass, you guys.
- Supernatural this season. Last season (which I just finished watching, like, two weeks ago) pissed me the hell off, and I wanted to cling to my grudge for just a little longer, but... certain things in the most recent episode meant I had to watch at least the first two episodes of this season. And OH MY GOD. The show earned all my love back with this most recent episode. ALL OF IT. Definitely a favorite. ...they will probably fuck it up again by the end of this season, but right now, I am in love.
- daemonprompts. Daemonfic is AWESOME, guys! Go write some! There aren't any activity requirements or anything. Just awesome fic. *Plans to write something as soon as her brain is back*
- On a Saturday. I'm only working on it in fits and spurts because getting my brain to focus on anything for too long is a trial and a half, but it is still awesome and so much fun. *Needs to get back to writing/editing the first draft*

So, for those of you who missed seeing it on starletfallen's journal, we'll be moving to Ithaca, NY around the beginning of October. I am partly absolutely thrilled about this, because OMG East Coast and New York, I missed you, and even if it's not my city, it's close enough for visits and there is a jaeled there and hey, another road trip when I've been getting wanderlust like crazy lately...

On the other hand, I'm more than a little heartbroken. I don't want to leave Jaqui, I just... Arizona is not the place I need to be, and I don't believe in staying for a person, even someone I love so fucking much.

...also, this means I'll be travelling on my birthday. I don't know if this is a good thing or terrifying. For those who don't know, I have a birthday curse second only to Buffy's. I've never had demon arms inna box or anything, but I do tend to end up in broken down cars a hundred miles from home. So. Heh. Um.

Then again, this road trip probably won't take as long as the last one, without so many long stopovers and snowstorms and concussions, so... Maybe we'll already be there by my birthday.

I keep wavering between bouncing ecstatically and wanting to burst into tears, so I think I'm just gonna drink my coffee, nest in the Doctor's playlist, finish voting for writerinadrawer and... yeah. This happydepressed mood is confusing as hell, and I have no idea what to do with it.