allfireburns | Entries tagged with writing: big bang

Okay, so I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I have to drop out of

tardis_bigbang, again, because this was, creatively speaking, the month from hell and I could not write anything no matter how much I wanted to. It happens, and I'm trying not to let it bother me too much - I did manage to write a couple small things in the past few days, and those made me feel marginally better about myself.

750 Words, by the way, is really kind of fantastic. I have been playing with it for about a week, and even though I am still not hitting the daily goal most of the time (and I totally missed writing today because... I slept through it...), it gives you points for writing. The best way to make me do anything is to make it a competition (even if I am mostly competing with myself and/or TIME ITSELF), so I think it's pretty cool. Writerpeople, you should go poke at it and see if it works for you.

And speaking of competitions...

writerinadrawer is starting up again this summer. And even though I should have learned better last time, I am seriously considering signing up again. I do have a guaranteed spot if I want it, and it might be really helpful to have something to do with prompts and people to compete against and stuff... On the other hand, it might just drive me crazy and make me want to set everything on fire. That is also a possibility. Thoughts, anyone? I haven't been so great at keeping writing commitments this past year or so, but I don't really think avoiding trying is really the way to fix that. *Indecisive flail*

Current Mood: pensive

I am realizing that I can't really get incredibly drunk anymore. Every time I start to get tipsy, I get really nauseous too. This is somewhat annoying. On the bright side,

ordinarygirl found some awesome rum that tastes delicious when used for pina coladas (and is not absolutely vile when drinking it straight), so that's good!

Here, have a link to my thread on that id meme that's been floating around. I really can't guess at what answers I'm likely to get here. ( This devolved into rambling that may be why I've been having weird blocks about writing? I don't know. )

And this disjointed ramble stopped being about id-fic long ago. In my defense, I have had quite a bit of alcohol today, even if I'm not terribly drunk. *Clears throat* Um. Carry on, then. I am going to wander off and try to write (ahahaha, I say that every day and it never works)... after I figure out why the fingers on my right hand are all kind of numb. It may have something to do with wrenching my shoulder when I wandered into the kitchen to grab a drink - don't ask how I did that, I'm just talented that way.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Above and Below - The Bravery

One of the cats broke a glass in the sink the other day, and I cut my finger on it while I was doing dishes. It hurts. Especially since I tend to snap my fingers to get the animals' attention when they're misbehaving, and the cut's on that finger, and I keep forgetting that. Mrrph.

Also, we have no AC in the house and it's fucking hot in here. Why did the sun have to come out? I preferred it raining all day...

I have totally failed at writing for this entire month, and I hate it. I am still trying to get back on track for TARDIS Big Bang, but I keep staring at it and wanting to cry. I wish my brain were more cooperative when I need it to be - maybe deadline panic will kick in soon and I'll miraculously pull it off anyway. It doesn't seem very likely, but still possible. Ish.

...yes, my life is incredibly boring and I really have nothing of interest to report. However, a few people asked to know where I'd be playing when I found places for my kids, and I've got three of them in games at the moment.
- The Doctor will be in

trans_9 at the next podpop (June 1).
- Jack Harkness will be in

hometrail when the game opens, on May 20.
- River Song is at

paperkey, and has been for a few months now.

I'm not plotting to drag anyone out of games they're already in or anything, but if any of you have time for a new game, I would love to have friends at any of those games. Especially Paperkey, which has an awesome premise and we have been promised a plot as soon as there are a few more characters and I very much do not want it to die. ♥?

...I'm gonna go have coffee and remind myself that I am, in fact, a writer. Wish me luck.

Current Mood: hot
Current Music: Dog Days are Over - Florence and the Machine

Dear lord, that was a long weekend. I'm sure the insomnia contributed to it seeming longer than it actually was, but it was exhausting, and I'm still exhausted. And I have more time on my hands than I know what to do with.

A lot of you know this already, but I left

beyondtherift, the RP I've been playing in and modding for more than two years. I don't feel like talking about the reasons why in public, but almost none of them were anyone's fault, just... what needed to happen. But even when I'm sure I made the right choice for me, it's very, very strange.

That game is two years of my life, and for those two years, the Chicago of the Rift is where my heart lived. It's... back in my chest now, and I don't know what to do with it, where to put it next. I built a lot of my current social circle in the Rift, but it's not like they're going anywhere even when I'm not in the game - I know that, but I still feel a lot more alone than I did a week ago.

I am, at least, going to have to find a new place to put the Doctor before too long. I still want a break and a breather from RP as a whole, but the Doctor's my strongest headvoice and when he gets restless, I do. Considering I can't even get out of the house these days, wanderlust is not a thing I can indulge right now. So finding something new and shiny for the Doctor to poke at is of paramount importance, and... God, I don't even know where to start.

In other news, you can add THE FUCKING WALL to the list of things I have cut my hand on in the past week or so. I don't know how I do these things. I really don't. All I did was stretch and brush my fingers against the wall behind me and suddenly I am bleeding. For those keeping score, other stupid things that have made me bleed recently include Changes (the new Dresden Files book, which I knew was out to get me), and the window (but that window opens like it's trying to whack you in the face and concuss you, so I'm not surprised about that). I am talented like that.

I have another post (or two) that I need to make at some point soon - including some OMG DOCTOR WHO squee that ranges from a little to extremely late - but right now I need to drink my coffee and fucking write something. If I don't do something about my Big Bang soon, I'm going to end up crushed under the weight of all the words I have yet to write.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Everything's Not Lost - Coldplay

Remind me to never get sick and sleep for two days ever again. Augh, there are so many things I need to do/catch up on now. I wasn't even that sick, I don't think, for some reason it just made me fall over for two whole days, or near enough. I do not approve.

However, before the plague knocked me out, I recorded a podfic for

chicafrom3's The Nature of Belief, which is up here at the audiofic archive.

Chica seems quite pleased with it, so I'm very happy. Despite the lisp I didn't realize I had until recently. ^^ I've never recorded a podfic before this, but I think years of those damn mortifying mandatory readings for CW classes trained me well enough. Podficcing is kind of fun. In the same "OH GOD I WANT TO BURN MY COMPUTER" kind of way as vidding, except that Audacity doesn't randomly eat a day's work the way WMM will sometimes decide to. :D

And I have been bouncing about Doctor Who being awesome since Saturday. I've also been keeping a mental list of the ways Moffat could force me to retcon the River I've been RPing. I mean, I haven't had many threads with her yet, so it could be a lot worse (like that time I had to retcon everything I ever said about Tosh's history), but still. It's scary.

...there are, however, some theories that are so stupid I refuse to put them on the list. Just... no. Oh, fandom, never stop bringing the WTF.

The plan for today:
- Make coffee (this is necessary for all the other things on the list)
- Work on my TBB fic. I found a cheerleader! She is awesome! (So is her story, which is better than mine, but that's okay, because I get to read it before anyone else.)
- Do RP stuff (There is a lot of it. Honestly, you leave the internet alone for a couple days...)
- Maybe finish that ramble on Ten's characterization. Because it is TAUNTING ME at this point.
- Possibly find something else to podfic. BECAUSE I CAN.
- Glare at the snow outside until it STOPS. I am from Southern California. I am in no way prepared for this shit in April.

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Saviours and All - Thea Gilmore

I really don't feel well. All nauseous and dizzy, and I thought it was just that I needed food, because I usually forget to eat until hunger starts making me feel like shit, but eating something just made it worse. And I can't sleep, because I want to reset my sleep schedule to something that doesn't mean I pass out at 9 AM (and I need to force myself into productivity), so it's apparently going to be a very long day. Especially since I can't have coffee unless the nausea goes away. Mrrph.

Things I need to do today:
- Write stuff for TARDIS Big Bang
- Write anything else
- Poke at the tags in my inbox
- Do modstuff if I can deal with staring at tables for an hour
- Possibly make a post

Things I want to do today:
- Keep writing that thing where I ramble about the Tenth Doctor's characterization
- Make a post with the one character who's not free to be posted right now

Yeeeaaah, I am awesome at this productivity thing.

...while I'm making a post, though, I have a question for anyone who's better at this stuff than I am.

The Rift cast list, as you all know, is awesome. However, every time I add or remove a character, I have to go and rearrange every single row to accommodate it, and the whole process is something that generally makes me want to kill everything. Especially with the wanderer table, because it's fucking huge. Whiiich is why it sometimes takes so long to update the cast list, and leaves me a lot less time for other mod things. So... uh... does anyone know a way I'd be able to add or remove characters and have the tables just sort themselves out? Maybe? <3?

Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Doctor Who (4x06 The Doctor's Daughter)

Fandom dreams are the best dreams. I don't even know where they came from, considering I was doing nothing with those fandoms before I went to bed... or even in the last few days... but whatever. I don't care.

In the first one, I was Jack Harkness. Hangin' out with River Song (who was also Beka) while we were both stranded on some ice planet and random icebeasts kept trying to eat us - we were remarkably unfazed by this.

The second one was an Animorphs dream (which are my favorites). I was Rachel - I usually am in these dreams - and for some reason had convinced Tobias (who was, again, also Beka) to do something insane and suicidal without the rest of the group. And Jake was pissed at me, but I didn't care, because I was Rachel. :| I don't actually remember much of the dream, but I remember it was FULL OF BADASS. And grizzly bears. Naturally.

*

...I thought about doing that WIP meme, but since I've forgotten how to finish things lately, I have about a million of them. And half of them I can't look at without spazzing, so I don't think I will do that after all. (One day, I am going to finish at least some of those, though. I just need to win this fight with my brain first.)

I did make it to 5000 words on my TARDIS Big Bang fic... which puts me at exactly the point where I started this year, before I deleted a bunch of stuff. But it's still progress! And as soon as I finish this episode... section... thing, I get to play with AU!futurey!Jack. I am so looking forward to that.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Where Have You Been? - Reel Big Fish

NaNoWriMo has trained me horribly for this Big Bang thing (or... writing in general). Because I keep going "OH NO, I'VE ONLY WRITTEN 500 WORDS TODAY. I'M NEVER GOING TO FINISH. I MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP NOW." (...I swear I'm not that dramatic about it. But the way I'm spazzing about it, you'd think it is that dire.)

In reality, I still have more than two months in which to finish a draft. And unless my progress chart is lying to me, I only have to write 200 words a day to make 20k. JESUS, THAT IS SO FUCKING EASY. WHY IS MY BRAIN TRYING TO CONVINCE ME I'VE ALREADY FAILED?

Of course, there's always the part where I'm pretty certain I'm going to need 25-30k words to actually finish the story, but I'm... dealing with that. I'm not so much scared of the word count as I am getting to the end part of the story and going "OH GOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. FUCKING TORCHWOOD." (There actually is a reason to blame Torchwood in this story. I'm not just randomly cursing them. Just so you know.)

In other, non-Big Bang related news, we might be venturing out into the world today. On the bus, because I refuse to get in the car again until it actually has a license plate on it (don't ask, seriously). I don't know where we're going, but I'm voting for a coffee shop and writing. And a bookstore, because we are in desperate need of A Local Habitation. Yes.

...it would figure that the past few days have been awesome and sunny, and then as soon as we decide to venture into the world, everything turns gray and ugly. Not cool, universe. ...though I suppose it does give me an excuse to wear my longcoat out. I love my longcoat.

EDIT: And then it started raining. Why, universe? Why would you do that to me? *Wibble*

Current Mood: worried
Current Music: Welcome to Chicago Motherfucker - Kill Hannah

1. Michaelcat is wrestling with a shoe. I think the shoe is winning.

2. I HAVE FOUND THE MOST WONDERFUL THING EVER. I have my big laptop set up on the table just behind my netbook, and I can play with them both using the keyboard and mouse from my netbook. I've been bouncing the cursor back and forth between the screens just because I can, and it is so cool. And I'm not going to lie, it makes me feel kind of badass working on two computers at once. Like Tosh, but without the super cool desk setup.

Now, hopefully, I can use this to be slightly more productive, instead of... using it to find new ways of procrastinating.

3. That productivity thing has not been going well, by the way. Part of it is that I'm very low-level sick right now - not enough that the sick is bothering me in itself, but it's making me feel very... off and just not myself. And it makes it very hard to write. And I've been trying to do tags, but all my character voices feel off. Bah. I think I'm getting over it, though? A little? Sorta?

4. I really need to get started on

tardis_bigbang. Re...started. I mean, I already have 5000 words, but my concern is really less the word count and more that the story gets finished. I need to find the kind of motivation I get at the very beginning of November, because that would power me through the whole thing with no problem.

But first, catching up on original writing. I WILL BE VICTORIOUS.

5. Curry powder is not cinnamon, and I am so very glad I remembered this before I put the incorrect spice in my coffee.

6. Sometimes it is very worthwhile to just stand outside for a while and be snowed on. I don't know why, but it made me feel much better about life.

ETA: 7. I need to learn that I should not listen to Aim for the Head until the sun is up. Because EVERY TIME I listen to it when it's dark and I'm alone, I start getting paranoid about the zombie apocalypse outside my door. WAY TO GO, SELF.

...it probably doesn't help that I've watched Shaun of the Dead four times in the past week. And 28 Days Later twice. And Slither once. Shut up.

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: This is My Town - Seanan McGuire

I woke up today and couldn't breathe through my nose. Marginally better now after taking some allergy meds, but I still feel icky for some reason. I'm already bracing for today to be one of those days, but maybe the universe will prove me wrong.

writerinadrawer voting closes tomorrow. The prompt this round was hard for most of us, and it shows in the writing - it's technically okay, for the most part, but my reaction to a lot of the stories was that I just didn't care. Still, there were two or three I did enjoy in there (and I think I would have liked mine too, were it not... mine), and if you can manage to vote, that would be awesome. There's apparently a tie or two right now. The stories are here and here, and the voting post is here. Bonus points for guessing which is mine! (I don't think it'll be hard - I feel like I was particularly obvious this round.)

I also signed up for

tw_bigbang, so that

starletfallen and I can write the post-Children of Earth thing that has been floating around in our heads. This may be a mistake, with WIAD going on at the same time... but we'll see. Maybe the fact that we're cowriting it will help. My real concern, at the moment, is about the structure I want, and whether it really works for a Big Bang fic.

I'm in kind of a mood today. Not a "hate the world and everyone in it" mood, which is nice for a change, but... I don't know. I feel like something bad is going to happen soon, and I really don't like waiting for it. Eli's coming.

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Dove and the Waterline - Jeffrey Foucault

Having serious troubles with productivity lately. And it's stressing me out to the point where even thinking about the things that I haven't done makes me nauseous. It's dumb and I realise I kind of just need to chill out, but just telling myself that doesn't seem to work and I don't know how to make it happen. I miss the days when thousands of words would just happen every day, without a terrible amount of effort on my part. Why can't I do that anymore?

My body also continues to protest life in general. The other day I woke up with my ear hurting a little. By yesterday night, it was incredibly painful, had spread to my jaw, and it was starting to become difficult to hear out of that ear. This morning, I woke up after two hours of sleep nauseous and wanting to cry because the whole side of my face hurt. And I can barely hear out of that ear. Beka took me to a clinic yesterday, where we found out that it is, in fact, an ear infection, and I have some antibiotics for it, but those take a few days to kick in. And it's hard to eat when moving my jaw hurts so much. I am not amused.

I'm on an epic Whoniverse rewatch kick, though, which makes me feel a little better about life. I don't know why, but it does. I'm almost to the end of S2 of Doctor Who right now. After that comes Torchwood S1. I'm excited for that, partially because OMG new Torchwood soon, and partially because I signed up for

writerinadrawer this round and that's coming up... pretty soon... Let's hope my writing mojo comes back before that. Or for that.

At some point soon, I plan to start reading the stuff for

tardis_bigbang too. I hear there's a Doctor/River/Jack fic up there, so I'm really looking forward to that. I just have to get over my residual sulk over utterly failing at my own Big Bang. (I fully intend to finish it at some point - possibly for the next round of the Big Bang - I'm just annoyed. At myself, really, and very envious of those writers who managed theirs. MY WRITING ISSUES. LET ME SHOW YOU THEM.)

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Wayward Son - Kansas

It is really obnoxious to have to stop writing for an hour to do medical research. Gah. MARTHA, I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS. (Although if anyone wondered, this site is a writer's best friend when it comes to trauma and various other medical... stuff.

Also, my wireless radio keeps shutting itself off, so unless that stops... if you don't see me around, that would be why. *Grump*

Considering getting a twitter just so I can spam it with writing flail. Is that a bad idea?

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Supernatural and House. Yes, at the same time. Don't ask why.

I've been trying to write my

tardis_bigbang. I've got a little over 3000 words at this point, and theoretically if I write around 500 words a day, I should be alright.

However, the problem is that I have to keep pausing to worldbuild. Future history of Torchwood, various planets, various aliens... It eats writing time. But dammit, I am going to get this done, just to prove I can.

Plus, after this section, I get to have Jack. Angsty!AU!future!Jack, but Jack nevertheless. That will make it better. Jack is easy to write.

...and I might have to throw in interludes with the Doctor too. It kind of sucks to be the Doctor in this fic.

EDIT: Okay, worldbuilding has occurred, for Torchwood and the planet I'm playing with. PBs have been found for the minor characters, and tiny bios written up on all four of them. AM I DONE YET? CAN I GET BACK TO WRITING? ...despite the fact that I'm tempted to go poke at playlists and make a verse-specific playlist and that is SO not what I should be doing right now... *Headdesk* I know how to focus. Really.

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: Bend and Not Break - Dashboard Confessional

Dear self,
Stalking the various RP memes trying to recruit new kids to the Rift is not productive when it comes to your Big Bang. Neither is flipping through your Martha playlist for no apparent reason other than that it's there. Write, goddammit.
Love,
Me

Right. So I'm not allowed to sleep until I've at least written a couple hundred words. I'm hoping this results in actual writing getting done instead of, y'know, just staying up until ungodly hours...

And hey, while I'm updating my journal (I've been crap at that these past few days), there's another set of Doctor Who awards going around:

smith_awards. Just Doctor Who, unfortunately - no Torchwood or SJA - but awards sites make me happy anyway. Nominations close on the 22nd, and I've already nominated... several fics, though doing so made me realize how little DW fic I read compared to Torchwood fic... Huh.

Anyway. Yes. Writing is happening. Right... now.

EDIT: ARGH YOU CANNOT FIT SEVERAL EPISODES' WORTH OF STORY INTO 20,000 WORDS WHY ARE YOU DUMB? ...yes, I am talking to myself. Having plotting issues. Carry on. ...Never mind that it can go as much over 20,000 words as I need it to. I'm just concerned about fitting several episodes' worth of story into the fic and still having it be cohesive and... y'know, coherent. And being able to write it before the deadline. GAH.

Hey, on the bright side, I think I finally figured out what the hell is up with the TARDIS.

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down

So I just spend an hour or so downloading and installing an old version of Petz that I don't need a CD for. It was totally worth it. MY CHILDHOOD! Yes, I am a total dork, you guys.

And now, I am going to finish the first chapter of my Big Bang and fiddle with

spoilerpatrol's journal. For... reasons.

If I finish that chapter of my Big Bang, I may then work on replotting the last part of On a Saturday. I miss On a Saturday. And I know new people now that I would like to introduce to that universe. ...yes, I treat my own verses like fandoms. WHAT OF IT?

Evie's sleep schedule and mine are not syncing up. I've decided to fix this by... staying up until the NEXT time she sleeps. WE'LL SEE HOW THAT GOES. It may require so much coffee. That can be done. And anyway, it can't be any worse than that one time I stayed up waiting for Evie to get home from the airport and it had been about 48 hours without sleep for both me and Jaqui and there was tagging with Gene and Sam... That was fun.

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Superhero - Ani DiFranco

My sleep schedule continues to make no sense whatsoever. On the bright side, I finally woke up at a reasonable hour, for once!

I have discovered, that despite the fact that my Y and U keys are missing, if I hit the spot where the keys SHOULD be hard enough, I get the letter anyway. Yes, this is a pain in the ass, but so is balancing the laptop and the USB keyboard. So it's just a matter of which I have more tolerance for at the moment...

Am slightly twitchy because all four of my main Rift characters are effectively stalled until certain threads are wrapped up - two are in threads, and two I just can't post until I know their reaction to threads that they aren't even involved in. And while I know why those threads are stalled... it's still making me just a little bit grumpy. Okay, really, I just want to play Gwen and Tosh and can't. I suppose this means it should be time to play with my minor characters, then.

Also, I may not be getting thread notifications. I've only noticed it for LOLshadow's account, but if I don't reply to you for a while, poke me to make sure I actually got the notification. I promise I won't mind.

Writing is happening, slowly but surely. I think I'm... roughly on target for my Big Bang, but I'd have to check the schedule. And I may have to rewrite some of what I've written and BAH. I'm gonna go write some prompt fic or something to distract me from that. ...after I wake up my girlfriend. Also at a reasonable hour! Kind of shocking, I know.

Current Mood: content
Current Music: Rain King - Counting Crows

I would like to have a normal sleep schedule again. All I've been managing lately are weird hours-long naps at the most random intervals, and it's frustrating.

The apartment is freezing. We're hoping that this means it won't be horribly hot later today, but right now, I can barely feel my feet. I am not pleased by this.

Writing is happening now, dammit. Yes. If I can stop fixating on the fact that I CAN'T FEEL MY TOES.

(Oh, look, here's yet another mood icon of shirtless!Owen. Seriously, this mood theme has about five separate moods featuring shirtless!Owen and I have LEGITIMATE QUESTIONS about this.)

EDIT: AUGH. I FAIL AT WRITING. AUGH. WHY DO I DO THIS? SOMEONE SHOOT ME.

...okay, I only mean that a little, but I want to kill things right about now. *Goes to make coffee and... brood or something*

Current Mood: cold
Current Music: You Can't Be Missed If You Never Go Away - Cobra Starship

As an update, I have a new shiny USB keyboard for use until, at some point, a new laptop can happen. It makes things awkward, as I only have a desk when I am upstairs and away from people (and have you ever tried to juggle a laptop, a wireless keyboard, AND a mouse on your lap all at the same time?), but that's okay, because it means I can WRITE AND TAG and... you know. Do important stuff like that.

Trying to write my

tardis_bigbang fic. It's going slowly, as I keep getting distracted by things, but I'm almost 1500 words into it. Yay, me! ...I don't know if those 1500 words are any good at all, but at the moment, I don't necessarily need good, I need momentum. So. Still eying the mid/late part of the plot with trepidation, and pondering getting the Doctor kidnapped by friendly aliens (don't... ask), but progress is being made!

I'm trying to decide whether I should attempt to stay up until a reasonable hour before sleep. On the one hand, I woke up at midnight. On the other, if I stay up until 7 or 8 before sleeping, maybe I will achieve something approaching a normal sleep schedule. ...or maybe I will sleep for three hours and be wide awake, as sometimes happens. Um.

Times like this, I really just detest the need for sleep at all. I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO, DAMMIT.

Current Mood: productive
Current Music: Martha - Jefferson Airplane

I have been plotting for

tardis_bigbang. It's kind of exhausting. Okay, really exhausting. But I have made some progress! (And found an excuse to include one of my favorite minor characters!) Still haven't figured out how to work my way from the middle bits to the very ending bit, but... I'm poking at that.

Papel is kind of an awesome program for plotting. It's like index cards, but without the stress and hassle and dropping them on the floor. I would be so much more aggravated with life, the universe and everything if I didn't have this to help with the plotting.

More and more, I'm concerned with the length of this. I don't mind if it gets epic, just... not so epic that I can't write it before the deadline. GAH.

Also, I've got to stop listening to Jonathan Coulton. If only because the Doctor keeps grabbing songs for his playlists, and it's getting a little ridiculous.

EDIT: I am not allowed to include a subplot based on this song. I'm just NOT.

Current Mood: productive
Current Music: Skullcrusher Mountain - Jonathan Coulton

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no one gets to tell me if I've lost or if I've won

when they ask you what befell me, say my story is not done

Entries tagged with writing: big bang

Cue writing-related flail.

And never hear these hissing voices, all the same...

Leave all your love and your longing behind, you can't carry it with you if you want to survive...

I'll be counting up my demons, hoping everything's not lost...

You and me and that old glass ceiling, and the radio, the saviours and all...

One day, I'll stop feeling like death twice a month...

"I would imagine they smell... OF BEAR!"

Let's get out of control - I wanna blow shit up...

We close our eyes to the seasons, watching time as it slips away...

And I said hello, can you help me; do you know what I'm doing, can you tell me where I'm bound?

Once I rose above the noise and confusion just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion...

Growlmuttersulk

I'm talented with reason, I cover all the angles...

I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman mind...

And let's just say that things look different now...

I think of flying down into a sea of pens and feathers...

I was buried alive; I came back to haunt you...

She sifts the hairy air that's warm and woodswept pleasantly...

I've been patient, I've been gracious, and this mountain is covered with wolves...

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