no one gets to tell me if I've lost or if I've won

ARGH.

Earlier this month, I agreed to go see my dad in DC while he's on leave. And forgot about it. And forgot to mention it to Beka.

I HAVE TO BE AT THE AIRPORT AT 4 AM TOMORROW. I AM UNPREPARED FOR THIS.

Not... packing-wise, though that's also true - it's an easier problem to fix, because I can pack in about five minutes. I just haven't psyched myself up for the whole... travel thing yet.

IT'S A LOT HARDER WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A PHONE OR CASH AND KNOW THAT IF YOU MISS A FLIGHT OR CAN'T FIND A CAB YOU ARE SCREWED. dflkjdflj

Nnngh. So the past few days, my back has been doing horrible knotty things that make me want to cry. It's gotten so bad today that I can't even stand for more than a few seconds without whimpering and having to sit down. This makes it hard to do things like, say, make coffee. Do dishes. Take the dog out. Exist. Painkillers aren't helping, backrubs aren't helping, alcohol isn't helping. I am full of so much hate.

Also forgot to call my mom on her birthday. Texted her, told her I slept most of the day (not actually untrue, at least for the parts of the day it would have been best to call her), and am hoping that she's not going to be terribly upset about that. The wrath of the mother is a scary thing, as it never fails to lead to horrible, horrible meltdowns on both ends. Gah.

On the bright side, maintenance came today and fixed the wiggly outlet that plugs would never stay in, and the temperature dials on the AC and oven/stove, and the garbage disposal, so yaaay, things in our apartment are functioning again, even if my body is... not.

Rah. Anyone know where I can get a new spine on the cheap?

The other day, someone bought me a paid account for torchwoodsheart. And today I woke up to find techniclybrill got one too.

Someone deserves so many hugs, and I wish I knew who they are.

And if you're wondering why I'm up at 5:30, it's so I can tell my dad we're heading back to Arizona today, before he heads to work... and I have no idea when he gets up. There's a reason we're heading back on such short notice, but... that's not important at the moment. What is important is that I am going to need SO MUCH COFFEE.

EDIT: JESUS FUCK IT IS SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA WHY IS IT SO COLD.

Also, I really hope that is someone's phone ringing, because otherwise it's a ticking bomb. Like, the creepiest ticking bomb ever. Set by a clown. ...I'm just gonna have cocoa and hope the house doesn't explode.

I'm alive in Kansas with the grandparents. Getting sick, and sleepy as hell for no good reason, but alive. Tonight, I get to deal with the crazy aunt - joy!

It is very, very windy here. Which... Kansas, go figure. But scary wind that sounds like it's going to eat you. It's awesome.

Ace enjoys having a fenced back yard. The other dogs do not enjoy having an Ace. Simba and Ace are getting used to each other - it helps that Ace has some weird immunity to pain and doesn't notice when she gets clawed in the face.

Will be seeing the other grandmother possibly tomorrow, and I will be away from internetland then. Just for the record.

I think I'm going to go write. Hopefully later tonight I will have brains for RP, because my characters are annoyingly talkative.

...You get no context for that subject line. It's not even accurate, just amusing.

Went out to dinner with my dad, since he's in town for a couple days. It was good and happy-making. Talked about wanting badly to leave Florida and possibly going to school - the school thing being dependent on how long we are going to be in Florida or where we might go if we do move, which depends on... things. Many things. Found out my mother does not tell me things that might be nice to know, but I'm not too bothered by it. Found out my family on my father's side is, indeed, a morbid lot, but I'm mostly just amused by this. Still desperately jealous of my sister.

Also, he thinks my dog looks weird. Which, really, is true. She's both long and tall, and she's got huge bat ears and looks like she might grow taller except that her feet are kinda small for a puppy who's gonna grow more... So yeah, I actually agree with him there. I think she's a really pretty dog too, but kinda odd-looking.

My dog, by the way, is a little socially retarded. In that strangers really freak her out. Especially if they are men. She does not like men. The exception being Evie's dad, but I think that's just because she met him when she was tiiiny. She kept barking at my dad. And then running forward to sniff his shoes or his pants or his fingers and then running to hide under the coffee table if he made any move at all. Freak dog.

Unrelated to all of this, last night I started the post-S4 fic I have been wanting to write since shortly after Journey's End aired. It is both hilarious and FULL OF BREAK. And it's the whole reason I've been writing those fics with the Doctor in Cardiff (which I love on their own merit, but they were mostly written to lead up to THIS). I LOVE THIS FIC, GUYS.

But I can't continue it until Evie gets home, because I need her Donna voice. So I think I'm going to go clean the bathroom floor now, and then take a shower. Because Florida is disgusting, and being outside always makes me feel gross. Ew.

I finished the Doctor's profile (yay), and my new demon is ready to come in whenever her hellhound buddy is ready. I'm pleased by this. Of course, I have ten other characters' profiles to do, still, but, you know. Progress. Tagging should happen, but I'm waiting for... something. I can't remember what it was, but I was waiting. Um. Well, that's great.

I need to call my mother. I wouldn't have even remembered, except that my dad called me earlier this morning and forced me to wish him a "Happy Mather's Day". ...Do not ask. My father is a strange man sometimes, and does make up holidays randomly, but I love him.

Plotting for On a Saturday is happening, which makes me happy. This verse is made of love and win. And one of the characters is one of the ones I want to bring into the Rift some time. She's only a minor character in OAS, but she's awesome. And the Rift could use her, I think. Of course, it's me, so OAS is going to end up with a billion and one minor characters and then I'll be flailing because there isn't enough of them in the stories, never mind that they are minor characters and that's sort of the point...

I'm avoiding thinking about writing my writerinadrawer fic for this week. I just... augh. The prompt is going to be hell to write for, because I hate writing drunken characters. I usually don't enjoy reading about drunken characters (drunken tabledancing and mistletoe-induced kissing in the Rift aside). A world of do not want for this prompt. *Sighs* If anyone has any brilliant ideas, please let me know. In the meantime, I'm going to be sitting here hiding, until, like, Thursday night when it becomes evident I really do need to write something. This is the way things go.

Rizzy made me cry with a fanmix. I am sitting here sobbing. This is what I get for wanting a Jack/Martha mix so bad.

In other news, I can spell Raxacoricofallapatorius from memory. How cool is that? (Okay, terrifying is the word I'm looking for. Still.)

EDIT: And my mom is apparently going to buy me and Evie dishes online and have them sent to us. Yaaaaay. This makes me very, very happy. Still need to call my dad and tell him I've got an apartment... but the time zones are making me reluctant to do that for another couple hours.

Meanwhile, I need to call Evie, and the phones at her store are (apparently) down. Thank you ever so much, Walgreens.