no one gets to tell me if I've lost or if I've won

I'm really not good at the internet when I haven't been able to write. It's very annoying, because I miss talking to people, but apparently I'm not allowed to have people unless I have channelled Seanan McGuire and been inhumanly productive or something? I don't even know. My brain doesn't cope well with the fact that BEING SICK MAKES YOU LESS ABLE TO DO SHIT.

The woods around the house continue to be creepy as fuck at night. Last night, with absolutely nothing I could see or hear outside, Ace lunged at the window with one of those thunderous barks that should come from a dog twice her size. It was not an alert bark, which are higher pitched, it was "THERE ARE INTRUDERS AT THE DOOR", and there was nothing there. It kind of freaked me out.

On the bright side of living in woods that are possibly evil, the other day I took Ace out just after the sun started rising, and we ran into a bunny and two deer. Sadly, they would not be Ace's friends, which disappointed her a lot.

*

In fandom news, the Ashes to Ashes finale was... almost everything I wanted. ( Cut for OMGSPOILERS. )

And now, if you don't mind, I have to wander off and download and watch Doctor Who. (And one day, maybe, I won't totally fail at making reaction posts for that. I hope.)

While I have you here, though, I have a rec for something you absolutely must go look at right now. It is A Partial Map of Your TARDIS (Subject to Change), and it is somewhere between fic and fanart, and it is absolutely glorious. I think I may be adopting into my personal canon for the Doctor.

So last night, I watched the last twenty minutes or so of the US Life on Mars. I had never actually watched any of the show before that, but having heard about the ending, I just had to see for myself. I am never going to get those twenty minutes of my life back. On the other hand, I can't stop laughing every time I think of it (seriously - CACKLING over here), so maybe it evens out? It was the best combination of bad writing, bad acting and large quantities of drugs EVER.

Well, if anyone was still in doubt as to the superiority of the British version... I can't imagine they are anymore.

Also also also you guys! This summer, we are getting a magi! And a house! *Gleebounceflail* This is the best news. A house. With people. And hopefully a yard for our crazy puppy. Hah! My mood icon pretty much sums up my feelings here.

Some of the emotional spaz of the last week or so has begun to fade, thankfully. Still only edging back toward productivity, which is annoying, but at least now I am not a ball of spaz and hat on Jaqui's lap, which was kind of the state of affairs for a couple days there.

I like today. Can I have more days like this?

I'm thinking about cutting my hair again, because... even though it's getting to where I can pull it back now, it's touching the back of my neck even when I do, and it's both bothering me and freaking me out. I don't know why, because it never used to bother me, but... eh. For whatever reason, now it is.

Earlier today a song came on my iTunes that... I guess I haven't listened to since I left the city. I don't even remember now which song it was or anything, but it came on, and about halfway through it made something click in my brain and for a second I was walking down the stairs to the subway at Christopher Street, and it hurt. The city's the first place I've really felt like I belonged for... years now. Feeling at home... that's a big deal for a military brat who's been moving around the country half her life. And I miss it.

And looking back, it was probably just as much or more that I had a good support system there and a group of friends I could trust with absolutely anything than the city itself, but I had to leave all of it really abruptly, and it's all one thing in my head. The city and the people and knowing what I was doing with my life and... everything.

We're moving to Arizona soon. In a few months. There is at least one good friend out there, and could possibly be more in the future, so that will help. (It will also help that it is not Florida, a place I have hated since the first time I moved here in my sophomore year.) I just want to be home again, instead of just someplace I'm staying. The nice thing about being a military brat is that it tends not to matter where, geographically, home is. The trouble is finding it.

And... I don't know... have a meme! (Kittens.)

Look at your LJ userpics list. If you have fewer than twenty icons, post them all. If you have between twenty and fifty icons, pick every fifth one. If you have between fifty and seventy-five icons, pick every seventh one. If you have over seventy-five icons, pick every tenth one. List them on your LJ, and tell everyone exactly why you have it, why it's interesting to you, and what significance it has.

( In which I ramble... often about more than just the icon... )

I've been up for over 24 hours now.

The last... nine hours of that have been spent RPing Gene and Sam with trollopfop.

Totally worth it.

Though trollopfop may have passed out now. And I do need food. And maybe more coffee. *Frown* And probably sleep, but I am less tired than you would think. In that light-headed, way too giddy way... Oh well.

I have many, many recordings of Evie singing on my iTunes. And they don't come up often, but about half the time, when they do, I get a puppy running over to my computer, grumbling discontentedly and shoving her nose around the speaker bits in a desperate attempt to find out how to get Mommy out of there. It's endearing, in a really annoying, "stop that, I'm trying to type HEY FINGERS ARE NOT FOR CHEWING" sort of way.

Eventually, Ace calms down, but by then she's worked herself into hiccups and has to chew on my feet to make herself feel better about Evie's absence. I love my puppy. Really, I do. But she is the reason I get nothing done most days. For some reason, chewing on parts of my body is absolutely the most entertaining thing she could possibly be doing. And if I'm not paying enough attention to her, she will shove her head forcibly onto my lap and then chew on whatever body parts are in reach. Or stare at me disconcertingly for almost a full minute and then bark for no good reason. I was just getting into writing mode and one of those barks startled me out of it and now my heart's racing and GOD DAMN IT.

Remind me why we didn't get a cat?
*
Attempting to think of a plotbunny for writerinadrawer? I had to remind myself that Sam Tyler is not a Torchwood character and therefore I could not use him in my story. Damn you, draegonhawke. I blame you.

My Doctor Who/Torchwood plotbunnies file on googledocs has distressingly few Torchwood plotbunnies. They're... almost all Doctor Who. Which is weird, because I actually tend to write more Torchwood fic than Doctor Who fic. I'm actually really deeply bothered by this.

I'm also bothered by the fact that I just can't seem to write at all. For the past week or so. My brain just... doesn't want to put words in any sort of coherent order, which is stupid, because I'm tagging just fine. So it's not that I can't write, it's more that I don't like anything I'm writing and therefore throw it out before I get anywhere with it.

Dear self? STOP IT. Seriously, knock it off, right now. It's not amusing.
*
Something, somewhere, is making this high-pitched ringing/buzzing sound. It is very, very irritating. I wish I knew what it was so I could make it stop.

Also, it's apparently my new hobby now to make icons that BREAK me. *Points to icon to demonstrate* Or something. Because the Tosh/Owen icons with "they saved the world a lot" weren't enough, apparently. Hey, at least I've also got happy!icons on my computer somewhere. Mostly, they're text only icons with Rift quotes. But they're happy! I swear I'll post them some day.

Martha
Ow. Ow ow OW. This is so going on the Ten/Martha mix that threatens to break me more with every song I put on it.

Your Tongue Like the Sun in My Mouth
Sam/Annie! And Sam/Gene! Just... yes. Nnngh. It's scary how many Sam songs I can find that sound like they were WRITTEN FOR SAM.

...Yeah, I just felt like sharing. Because I want to write and can't quite get my brain in gear for it. *Sulkity* At least there can be Doctor Who when Evie gets home. That makes me happy. Martha makes me happy.

I needed to transcribe the lyrics to this song, because the first verse is nowhere on the internet. And it is on my Rift playlist. If anyone's curious, it's there for Gene. Just... oh. It is Gene. Jaqui's Gene, at least. All over the place. And there's so much Sam in there and a little of CID and... YES. Ow.

( And if you slip and if I care... )

The puppy woke me up much too early by trying to eat my face. I am not amused. And I should eat something, but I just... don't want to bother making anything we have in the house. *Sigh*

Worldbuilding needs to happen today. Lots of it. Rrrh.

At least Sam's finally talking to me in the Rift. He's been kinda quiet for a while now, but apparently the thing to get him talking is to drag in his ex-girlfriend. Watching the last couple episodes of Life on Mars helped too. Granted, half the time he's just facepalming and asking what he did to deserve this (the answer to that is "jump off a building", but he won't accept that answer), but it's nice. I missed him. And cannot wait for Gene to meet Maya. DOOM. All around.

I haven't done one of these for a while... mostly because I haven't done writing_game for ages. But I did some stuff, so... Post for two different weeks!

I really need to post some of these in my fic journal, but I don't know if I want to put some of them together (or string some out into a longer story), so that will wait for now.

Life on Mars
Bored - Sam
Cathartic - Sam and Gene
Endure - Sam

Doctor Who/Torchwood
Jealous - Jack/Gwen, Gwen/Rhys, Jack/Rose
Anonymous - Sally Sparrow, mention of the Doctor and Larry
Candy - The Doctor and Rose
Dream - The TARDIS, the Master, Lucy, Jack, and the Doctor
Quaint - Jack/Gwen, mention of Gwen/Rhys