no one gets to tell me if I've lost or if I've won

I can't get my brain to work for tags today, and everything I'm writing is shit. This is not conducive to me being in a good mood.

And I can't stop thinking, and it's driving me crazy. A large part of that is probably that I haven't been able to leave the house for ages because we don't have a car and trying to walk any distance at all, really, sends me into a coughing fit of DEATH, and that's if my heart doesn't freak out and try to make me pass out... but I feel like I'm losing my mind a bit.

I have a picture I took a couple years ago, of snow falling outside my dorm room window, and it's all gold in the street lights and. Just. Gorgeous. I ran across it earlier today, wandering through folders on my computer for one reason or another. I loved New York in the winter. I want to go home.

Failing that, I want to be anywhere but here. And the fact that everything we do - right down to being able to go out to get fucking groceries, much less moving - depends on Evie's dad not being a flake and actually helping us get a car, which he said he would do yesterday, is not helping my mood.

I always liked road trips. I am so ready for this one. Any fucking day now.

Also, I want a frappuccino. Pumpkin spice. Yes, that's completely trivial and mostly unrelated to anything, but I don't care. It's a thing.

Mmmph. Went to bed way too late to be awake as early as I was. There were movers. To bring furniture from Evie's parents' house. But now we have an actual bed and a dresser and a bookshelf and things! So that's nice.

So I was already tired. And then I went and bathed the puppy, and now I never want to move again. Or at least for the rest of the day. Tempted to curl up on the bed, but then I'd have to put sheets on it and stuff, and that requires movement. Also, there's the chance my sleep schedule and Evie's would get all out of whack and that would be not fun.

So instead I'm going to drink ridiculous amounts of coffee in an attempt to stay awake. And try to write something for itsproductivity. River and Lilith are gaining a fan club and this amuses me.

There is somewhat good news, in that there will be a crazedcrusader here in September! Her having to leave New York is no good, but I missed her and am happy she will be here.

And as a note, this song? Is my favorite of all of the songs from Dr. Horrible. Of course it would be the one filled with ANGST and PAIN. It just... yes. It makes me happy in that twisted-up way full of ow. And it is fun to sing.

Speaking of Dr. Horrible? You should totally read his entrance to the Rift. In which he runs into Buffy. And... just... oh. Baby. I want to hug him so much.

...Wow, this post follows no logical train of thought at all. I'm gonna blame it on the lack of sleep and the caffeine. Yes.

EDIT: Oh! Evie told me I can take a nap, and she'll call me to make sure I wake up in a reasonable amount of time. I am going. Now.

I have many, many recordings of Evie singing on my iTunes. And they don't come up often, but about half the time, when they do, I get a puppy running over to my computer, grumbling discontentedly and shoving her nose around the speaker bits in a desperate attempt to find out how to get Mommy out of there. It's endearing, in a really annoying, "stop that, I'm trying to type HEY FINGERS ARE NOT FOR CHEWING" sort of way.

Eventually, Ace calms down, but by then she's worked herself into hiccups and has to chew on my feet to make herself feel better about Evie's absence. I love my puppy. Really, I do. But she is the reason I get nothing done most days. For some reason, chewing on parts of my body is absolutely the most entertaining thing she could possibly be doing. And if I'm not paying enough attention to her, she will shove her head forcibly onto my lap and then chew on whatever body parts are in reach. Or stare at me disconcertingly for almost a full minute and then bark for no good reason. I was just getting into writing mode and one of those barks startled me out of it and now my heart's racing and GOD DAMN IT.

Remind me why we didn't get a cat?
*
Attempting to think of a plotbunny for writerinadrawer? I had to remind myself that Sam Tyler is not a Torchwood character and therefore I could not use him in my story. Damn you, draegonhawke. I blame you.

My Doctor Who/Torchwood plotbunnies file on googledocs has distressingly few Torchwood plotbunnies. They're... almost all Doctor Who. Which is weird, because I actually tend to write more Torchwood fic than Doctor Who fic. I'm actually really deeply bothered by this.

I'm also bothered by the fact that I just can't seem to write at all. For the past week or so. My brain just... doesn't want to put words in any sort of coherent order, which is stupid, because I'm tagging just fine. So it's not that I can't write, it's more that I don't like anything I'm writing and therefore throw it out before I get anywhere with it.

Dear self? STOP IT. Seriously, knock it off, right now. It's not amusing.
*
Something, somewhere, is making this high-pitched ringing/buzzing sound. It is very, very irritating. I wish I knew what it was so I could make it stop.

Also, it's apparently my new hobby now to make icons that BREAK me. *Points to icon to demonstrate* Or something. Because the Tosh/Owen icons with "they saved the world a lot" weren't enough, apparently. Hey, at least I've also got happy!icons on my computer somewhere. Mostly, they're text only icons with Rift quotes. But they're happy! I swear I'll post them some day.

So, I'm rereading Jingo. The last time I read it was... a while ago. Before I got into Life on Mars. And now, every time there's a scene with Vimes? I keep seeing and hearing Philip Glenister in my head. I'm not sure whether to be pleased and amused by this (because it is kind of awesome) or a little weirded out.

AND! I won this latest round of writerinadrawer. With a Jack/Gwen fic which, honestly, I kind of thought would be voted out because of the pairing. I am ridiculously happy about this (while also quietly growling at the Torchwood fandom in general for making me that worried over the damn pairing).

Watched the first several episodes of Alias today. Got a headvoice, as I knew I would. I blame Chris. But I'll forgive her if she starts watching Burn Notice. Because clearly, we should trade fandoms with badass spies/former spies/terrorists.

I would like to say that you guys are awesome with prompts. Really, really awesome. ♥ Thank you all.

One more quick thing: my google docs is not working. AT ALL. It will open, and load the page, but it won't let me click on any folders, documents, buttons... anything. Nothing happens. It doesn't even seem to recognize that those are links. Is anyone else having this problem? Or does anyone know how to fix it? It's driving me crazy. And there are things on there I kind of need to get to.

EDIT: ...Okay, never mind that last bit. The second I decide to complain about it, it decides to work again. *Facepalm*