I figure that once upon a time I was an ocean...

[allfireburns]

I'm thinking about cutting my hair again, because... even though it's getting to where I can pull it back now, it's touching the back of my neck even when I do, and it's both bothering me and freaking me out. I don't know why, because it never used to bother me, but... eh. For whatever reason, now it is.

Earlier today a song came on my iTunes that... I guess I haven't listened to since I left the city. I don't even remember now which song it was or anything, but it came on, and about halfway through it made something click in my brain and for a second I was walking down the stairs to the subway at Christopher Street, and it hurt. The city's the first place I've really felt like I belonged for... years now. Feeling at home... that's a big deal for a military brat who's been moving around the country half her life. And I miss it.

And looking back, it was probably just as much or more that I had a good support system there and a group of friends I could trust with absolutely anything than the city itself, but I had to leave all of it really abruptly, and it's all one thing in my head. The city and the people and knowing what I was doing with my life and... everything.

We're moving to Arizona soon. In a few months. There is at least one good friend out there, and could possibly be more in the future, so that will help. (It will also help that it is not Florida, a place I have hated since the first time I moved here in my sophomore year.) I just want to be home again, instead of just someplace I'm staying. The nice thing about being a military brat is that it tends not to matter where, geographically, home is. The trouble is finding it.

And... I don't know... have a meme! (Kittens.)

Look at your LJ userpics list. If you have fewer than twenty icons, post them all. If you have between twenty and fifty icons, pick every fifth one. If you have between fifty and seventy-five icons, pick every seventh one. If you have over seventy-five icons, pick every tenth one. List them on your LJ, and tell everyone exactly why you have it, why it's interesting to you, and what significance it has.

It's my default icon now. I have a Gwen layout. I am neurotic about having default icons to match my layout. But besides that? Gwen is my favorite character in Torchwood. (Which makes Torchwood fandom often stressful to be a part of, but... you know. Anyway...)

Brian Darling is the worst priest in the history of ever, and I love him. He is my favorite character in Dirty Sexy Money besides the twins. (And speaking of DSM, apparently ABC is making journals with which to stalk friends. I got friended by dirtysexyabc, and it's... bothering me. Did they bother to find anyone... in the network... at all... who is somewhat familiar with fandom? They're not quite understanding the meaning of "community", I think. And if lifeonmarsabc friends me, I will hurt something. Seriously. There will be blood.)

Utopia/Sound of Drums/Last of the Time Lords are my favorite three episodes of New Who ever. SHUT UP, DON'T JUDGE ME. And Martha is my favorite companion ever. And the Year That Never Was? Yeah, I love that too. And Toclaphane. And sometimes it's good to have an "everything just went to hell" icon.

...I really don't have much of an explanation for this one, except that I needed a Buffy icon. And I always loved the combination of pretty dress (not that you can really see it) + leather jacket + crossbow.

I love the Torchwood kids, and team dynamics are a surefire way to get me to fall in love with a show. I love them even when they are incompetent. Sometimes especially when they're incompetent. It's sort of my "I am competent, really (okay, maybe not)" icon.

I have more Martha/Tenth Doctor icon than any person really should. It's _chibidragon_'s fault, or at least I will pretend it is.

I have an insane obsession with "Love Don't Roam". And this episode. Is one of my favorites. And... I don't know... I felt like I didn't have enough icons with Rose in. That's not true anymore, but it was at the time.

See above, re: Martha/Ten icons. Also, Martha is tiny! Look at her with her feet all dangling! And exuberant hug icons? Good thing to have. (I don't have a lot of icons that are happy. And a lot of the "happy" ones have hidden break. This is one of the exceptions. ...mostly.)

I finally have Life on Mars icons yay! And Sam just has the best expressions and reactions to things... ever. This is my "I give up on life" icon. Because sometimes they're necessary.

I used to have another icon with this text. I like this one better. And what I said above about my love of Last of the Time Lords? Yeah. Plus, Jack salutes always make me a little giddy. (Even though the Rift has given me a complex about them because every time Rift!Jack salutes THERE IS BREAK, either on the way or already there.)

Comments

[lionessvalenti.livejournal.com]

It's going to sound really stupid, but I totally had the same thing happen a couple weeks ago, drinking a pink Vitamin Water. It was a total flash to walking up 41st, heading toward the Neder in the middle of the summer with the strong smell of bus exhaust. I started crying. Over a Vitamin Water. At work.

And I'm going to do that meme. I did one maybe a year ago? I've changed a lot of icons since then. I love icon memes.

[allfireburns.livejournal.com]

Well, it's good to know I'm not the only one there. *Cuddlecling* I just kind of... want my life back. Because I really don't feel like this is it.

And yay, iconmeme! You have awesome icons, so I am looking forward to that. ^^

[http://users.livejournal.com/_coherent/]

Yeah, I have that problem with a lot of songs -- ones I regularly listen to, even -- though those mostly remind me of recent things. The surprising thing was when I was browsing Walmart and came across little weird italian ice things that I'd eaten as a kid in Arizona. I felt like someone had just...punched me in the chest in the middle of the ice cream aisle.

*hugs* Hopefully things will get better, and you'll find a home and family either in Arizona or somewhere it's feasible to move in the long run if you don't end up staying down there, y'know? :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chibidragon_/]

*huggles tightly* I hope you find a new place that feels like home very soon. Wherever that may be.

I'm still looking for that home place myself. Ah, the life of a military brat. Hee. We're cool.

I will happily take blame even pretended blame for that. ^^

Love you. <3

[see-are-uh.livejournal.com]

where in arizona are you going?

[allfireburns.livejournal.com]

Tempe. ^^

[see-are-uh.livejournal.com]

awh, gina's there! haha.

[mostepotente.livejournal.com]

I seriously am in love with your Brian icon. I don't know how much you've been keeping up lately with the show, but zomg if Brian gets what he wants it will be a freaking miracle.