no one gets to tell me if I've lost or if I've won

So. LJ is being an ass about gender. Again. I can't find a link for it, at the moment, but suffice to day that "it's personal" is not the same as "unspecified", and obviously LJ completely failed to grasp why people were upset in the first place. And on top of that, LJ's ads can now give you some nasty malware, and if you don't have AdBlock or something similar on your browser, you should definitely install it now.

And once again, I have a ton of Dreamwidth invites going spare, if anyone needs one and doesn't have one. If you needed any more reasons to head over there, here's an awesome list for you. I really just wish I could drag fandom over there, and while I understand all the reasons it's not that easy (I imagine being able to port whole comms over would help a lot), it's frustrating that all of my online social circle is on LJ when Dreamwidth is so much nicer and, you know, not an ass to its users. And it won't infect your computer with malware. Just saying.

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I posted my 100th Whoniverse fic today. (I know this because I like numbers and keep obsessive track of certain things.) This makes me very happy. It also freaks me out, because I have double that many RENTfics, and how was I ever that productive?

I also signed up for the who_like_giants ficathon yesterday. I know I'm going to hate myself for this in a couple weeks, but it's 1000 words, and mine is due March 23. I can totally do that. I was going to write a fic about Ida Scott, but, uh... the disc with The Impossible Planet and The Satan Pit on it HATES LIFE, so I decided not to commit to that in case I can't review those episodes. So instead... chances are I'm going to write something with Torchwood One or Torchwood Four.

This would be a lot easier if I'd ever made notes on my Torchwood Four when I actually remembered who they all were.

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This is just to reaffirm my hatred of my landlord and desire to set him on fire. Our heater doesn't work and hasn't for weeks. He knows this, said last month he'd get us a replacement part and fix it, and the temporary heater he gave us doesn't blow air, so the heat just rises and hovers around the ceiling, where it does us no good. It's been below or around zero degrees for the past few days, and I can't feel my toes. I wish to do violence.

I swear I don't mind winter. I actually like winter a lot. But not when it comes into my house.

I've been meaning to post something here for, like, two weeks. I kept getting distracted. Or just annoyed at my brain for not cooperating with me.

Anyway, I have internet at my house now, as well as my proper computer back. Not that I don't adore the netbook, but Gwen has all my music. And a fucking huge screen (particularly after using the netbook constantly for a couple weeks).

I am incredibly behind on NaNo. My focus is nearly nonexistant, and the further I get behind, the more I begin to SPAZ about it. I am going to attempt to catch up a little today, though - my sleep schedule has been broken to the point where I am literally sleeping through all the daylight, which is not generally good for my state of mind, because sunlight? KINDA IMPORTANT. So I think I'm going to stay up until the sun goes down tonight, and use that time to write shit. Wish me luck.

That's probably a better use of my time than spazzing because something in the plumbing is broken and the floor of our bathroom keeps turning into a miniature Kashtta Lake (and our fucking landlord apparently can't be bothered to GET HIS OWN EMAIL ADDRESS OR SOMETHING), or getting all twitchyspazzyFULLOFHAT because I want to be out of the house but at the same time am not so sure about that being around people thing...

If my brain could stop freaking out at the world for no good reason, I would be so very happy.

So, for those of you who missed seeing it on starletfallen's journal, we'll be moving to Ithaca, NY around the beginning of October. I am partly absolutely thrilled about this, because OMG East Coast and New York, I missed you, and even if it's not my city, it's close enough for visits and there is a jaeled there and hey, another road trip when I've been getting wanderlust like crazy lately...

On the other hand, I'm more than a little heartbroken. I don't want to leave Jaqui, I just... Arizona is not the place I need to be, and I don't believe in staying for a person, even someone I love so fucking much.

...also, this means I'll be travelling on my birthday. I don't know if this is a good thing or terrifying. For those who don't know, I have a birthday curse second only to Buffy's. I've never had demon arms inna box or anything, but I do tend to end up in broken down cars a hundred miles from home. So. Heh. Um.

Then again, this road trip probably won't take as long as the last one, without so many long stopovers and snowstorms and concussions, so... Maybe we'll already be there by my birthday.

I keep wavering between bouncing ecstatically and wanting to burst into tears, so I think I'm just gonna drink my coffee, nest in the Doctor's playlist, finish voting for writerinadrawer and... yeah. This happydepressed mood is confusing as hell, and I have no idea what to do with it.

The worst thing is wanting desperately to write anything at all and not being able to think of anything. Dear God, what is wrong with my brain?

...yeah, that's about all I have to say right now. If you're wondering why I haven't posted much lately, it's because I'm boring lately. I mean, unless you're terribly interested in the constant annoyed staring at notebooks without actually writing anything, or the ongoing struggle to burn Band of Brothers in a format that actually works on my DVD player and is in the right order (HOW HARD CAN IT POSSIBLY BE? Apparently very hard.), or the fact that Firefox/Vista/my internet/whatever hates me and wants me to die. Yeah, I didn't think so.

Tell me you're more interesting than I am, flist. How's your week been so far?

Ugh. So tired. I got a full night's sleep, had a rather large coffee with extra caffeine in, and I still feel like falling over. *Whimpers*

But we are putting the puppy in the box and going out and getting something cold to drink, so I will suffer through the wanting to fall over.

...you know, I don't find it encouraging that the sleepy picture on my mood theme is Nathan DYING. No, he's not bleeding to death, he's just TIRED!

It is really hard to write when my spacebar only works about 50% of the time when I hit it. And I'd rather not start disassembling my keyboard in Starbucks when there's a chance I'll lose something. This is so not cool.

Also, every now and then I have to stop and go "What the hell am I writing?" Stone angel statues are scary. And gas mask zombies and all that stuff. Yes. Shopping carts, on the other hand... uh...

...Don't ask.

Nnngh. So the past few days, my back has been doing horrible knotty things that make me want to cry. It's gotten so bad today that I can't even stand for more than a few seconds without whimpering and having to sit down. This makes it hard to do things like, say, make coffee. Do dishes. Take the dog out. Exist. Painkillers aren't helping, backrubs aren't helping, alcohol isn't helping. I am full of so much hate.

Also forgot to call my mom on her birthday. Texted her, told her I slept most of the day (not actually untrue, at least for the parts of the day it would have been best to call her), and am hoping that she's not going to be terribly upset about that. The wrath of the mother is a scary thing, as it never fails to lead to horrible, horrible meltdowns on both ends. Gah.

On the bright side, maintenance came today and fixed the wiggly outlet that plugs would never stay in, and the temperature dials on the AC and oven/stove, and the garbage disposal, so yaaay, things in our apartment are functioning again, even if my body is... not.

Rah. Anyone know where I can get a new spine on the cheap?

Feeling much better today, besides a slight general achiness still and the fact that my knee all but collapses underneath me when I try to walk (I don't know what is up with my knees, but they are malfunctioning, and I demand replacements). I appreciate all the love last night when I was feeling like crap. ♥

Working on writing, sporadically.

Also reading a ton of fic, because I just realized hey, voting for Children of Time closes in about a day and a half. Definitely not going to get the chance to read all the categories, but I'm hoping to get through the ones I'm particularly interested in. Wondering if I should brave the Torchwood PWP section because a friend's fic is in there and I'd like to be able to vote in that category in good conscience, but... it's Torchwood. PWP. Yeah, it scares me.

Also wondering if I want to actually get around to rewatching a couple episodes of Torchwood a little later tonight. We'll see if this headache goes away first.

I would like to have a normal sleep schedule again. All I've been managing lately are weird hours-long naps at the most random intervals, and it's frustrating.

The apartment is freezing. We're hoping that this means it won't be horribly hot later today, but right now, I can barely feel my feet. I am not pleased by this.

Writing is happening now, dammit. Yes. If I can stop fixating on the fact that I CAN'T FEEL MY TOES.

(Oh, look, here's yet another mood icon of shirtless!Owen. Seriously, this mood theme has about five separate moods featuring shirtless!Owen and I have LEGITIMATE QUESTIONS about this.)

EDIT: AUGH. I FAIL AT WRITING. AUGH. WHY DO I DO THIS? SOMEONE SHOOT ME.

...okay, I only mean that a little, but I want to kill things right about now. *Goes to make coffee and... brood or something*

So I burned the index and middle fingers of my left hand on the metal plate of the coffee maker. Sometimes I'm dumb. I've got burn stuff on it so it doesn't hurt that much anymore, but typing is difficult and kind of hurts. So if I'm not around much for a while... that is why.

I'll be sitting over here sulking and reading Secret Diary of a Call Girl in an attempt to distract myself from the ow and annoyance. Maybe in a while I will write. With a pen, so I don't injure myself more. Or finish reading that epic fic I've had open in a tab of my Firefox for, like, a week.