You never seemed so tense, love, I've never seen you fall so hard - do you know where you are?

[allfireburns]

If this one person on tw100 doesn't stop reviewing every drabble anyone posts with the same two-word comment, I swear I'm going to punch them. Or go and spam their last twenty posted stories with the same comment, but they might actually take that as a compliment, so maybe not.

I slept about four or five hours last night. ...this morning. Whatever. Didn't mean to, I just went to bed at five or six AM, woke up around ten... I also walked into a door last night. In my defense, I was trying to avoid turn on any lights so I wouldn't wake Evie and Jaqui, but... the point still stands. I walked into a door.

I've been kind of... twitchy lately, just in that... every time one of my friends talks about school, I feel sick. And... you know, I don't really mind that much - I'm not trying to guilt trip anyone about it or anything - I just... I'm jealous. God, I'm jealous. I want to be in school and it's just looking like less and less of a possibility and I absolutely hate that. I feel inferior and like a complete failure, and it doesn't help that this is exactly what my mother predicted would happen before I went to school, and I hate her for saying it and I hate myself for proving her right.

Whatever. I'm just going to... stop before I have to cry or punch things.

I figured I would throw one of these up since everyone else is doing it and I already had an account on the site...

Get your own valentinr

Comments

[yetregressing.livejournal.com]

*snuggles*

College does not a person make. I have considered (because money issues, because fuck my lack of motivation, because sometimes I'm not convinced it's worth it when I know I'll just come out with a useless degree) not going to college, which, when you're at a school like I am? Is not exactly something you want to skip around proclaiming. But I look around me at all my senior friends and I see how stressed they are, and I begin to think less and less about how cool college would be for me, and more about how there's no way I could ever get in because I won't get that writing scholarship in four years, and financial aid won't be enough and I totally freak out, more so than when I thought I wasn't going to go to high school.

There's all this pressure to go to college these days, ridiculous amounts of pressure, and it's hard to remember to take a step back and say, "Hey, sometimes that's not for everyone." Circumstances have brought you to where you are now, have made you who you are, and I like you just fine. *snuggles a lot*

[allfireburns.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's just... stressful, because I want to be at college, I wanted to be at college and I loved it there, and then... everything just sort of fell apart in ways that were almost entirely out of my control, and I want it back.

[yetregressing.livejournal.com]

*holds*