You never seemed so tense, love, I've never seen you fall so hard - do you know where you are?

[allfireburns]

If this one person on tw100 doesn't stop reviewing every drabble anyone posts with the same two-word comment, I swear I'm going to punch them. Or go and spam their last twenty posted stories with the same comment, but they might actually take that as a compliment, so maybe not.

I slept about four or five hours last night. ...this morning. Whatever. Didn't mean to, I just went to bed at five or six AM, woke up around ten... I also walked into a door last night. In my defense, I was trying to avoid turn on any lights so I wouldn't wake Evie and Jaqui, but... the point still stands. I walked into a door.

I've been kind of... twitchy lately, just in that... every time one of my friends talks about school, I feel sick. And... you know, I don't really mind that much - I'm not trying to guilt trip anyone about it or anything - I just... I'm jealous. God, I'm jealous. I want to be in school and it's just looking like less and less of a possibility and I absolutely hate that. I feel inferior and like a complete failure, and it doesn't help that this is exactly what my mother predicted would happen before I went to school, and I hate her for saying it and I hate myself for proving her right.

Whatever. I'm just going to... stop before I have to cry or punch things.

I figured I would throw one of these up since everyone else is doing it and I already had an account on the site...

Get your own valentinr

Comments

[allfireburns.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I got that feeling. At some point, I just know I'm going to snap and leave a nasty comment on her journal. ...or would that be wrong?

And thanks. *Cling* I hate getting so bothered by this, because I feel ridiculous, but so many of my friends are in college, or have been to college and are actually doing things with their life and are people I really look up to, and I'm just... not.

And it does not help that my younger sister is going to my school and surviving just fine to all appearances, and it just... You know that episode of S60 with Tom's parents at the studio? Makes me cry every time. It sucks living in the shadow of your younger sibling.

[lionessvalenti.livejournal.com]

That might be considered... out of line? Not that I've ever known you to be like "Oh, these, lines. I shouldn't cross them."

If it makes you feel any better, though it probably won't cause it doesn't do much for me either, but I know more people who are like us than people who are busy with the college-making. People who dropped out of college or never went, just trying to make it. It's just easier (and harder) to see what you don't have and what you would like to have. Especially when it's in your family - that notably sucks.

You get *more hugs*.