no one gets to tell me if I've lost or if I've won

I did find my notebook. It was under the printer, when the last time I saw it, it was... on top of the printer. I am so not amused, but I have it now. So that's good.

I need to find something to write. Or to plot my big bang story - I need to find someone to bounce ideas off of for that, because I still haven't worked out the major conflict. ...Besides the absence of the Doctor, which is, granted, kind of a big deal. Rrrh.

I thiiink I'm going to make myself some coffee, read some of the Children of Time nominees so I can vote... And then I will catch up on my tags, and probably post Sam into the Rift because I haven't posted him in a while, and I miss him. Gwen too. (I will resist the urge to post the Doctor, because the combination of him and any of my other main characters in a multipup post just leaves me swamped, invariably.)

Here, have a meme, because everyone else has done it and it's only fair to reciprocate...

Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter.
Post them to your journal with these instructions.

( All we can do is keep breathing... )

Woke up to find that the puppy, in the night, had decided the trashcan is the best place to play.

Wrestled the puppy into her crate when the puppy DID NOT WANT TO GO. Meaning my back is going to haaate me in about an hour.

I have Pepsi, vanilla vodka, and a half-finished story. This is the best way to deal. ...I haven't eaten yet, but I'm not sure I care.

Also, my knee still fucking hurts. For no apparent reason. The current theory we're all running with is that I'm psychically channeling Evie's kneepain. In which case, I would like to GIVE IT BACK. It's just a minor, low-level pain, until I try to bend it a certain way, and then I just have to growl and curse a lot until it stops hurting. Bah.

My back has randomly decided it wants me dead. I really don't know what to do about this, other than whimper in pain. Backrubs and painkillers help a little, and Evie is my hero, but OW.

Sleep schedule is still doing wacky things. *Grumble* ONE DAY I'm going to conquer it, I swear.

Thanks to Chris' meme, I ended up making three new journals yesterday. One of them I will never use, I apparently just decided having it was necessary. Maybe I just wanted to play with icons. The other two, however... I desperately want to play them. Somewhere. Dammit, I have to stop collecting characters.

Stalled on writing by updating the Doctor and Tosh's playlists, before Box.net decided it hates the living and refused to let me upload anything more. Tosh continues to have the saddest playlist ever, though with slightly more happy than she had the last time.

And I swear I'm going to go do something productive now. Really.

Evie and Jaqui and I fail at a normal sleep schedule. We stayed up until the sun rose, and then went out to get pie. Pie was accomplished, though we haven't actually eaten it yet, because then there was breakfast. On the way back - the place where we got the pie was within walking distance - we met an adorable black cat. He was like Michaelcat at half-size, and ran across the street to meet me when I crouched down and called, and then followed us almost all the way home. So much cute.

And then I went to sleep. For about three hours, because yesterday we got a slip at the door saying there was a package for us at the post office - this package is, without a doubt, my new phone, which we need before we can call the moving company to get our fucking furniture. The note SPECIFICALLY SAID we could pick it up today after 9 AM. So we went to the post office. The post office which is apparently closed on Saturday. THE NOTE LIED.

So I sulked back off to bed and slept for quite a while longer, while Evie unloaded the car and went to Target to pick up some stuff. And then I woke up and Evie asked me to come upstairs to keep her company while she unpacked. I gathered up the laptop and the dog and did so, and SHE GOT ME A DESK. AN AWESOME DESK OF AWESOME. *Glees* I need cups now so I can put all my pens in them. Cups or, you know, other containery things. Whatever.

Also, magi sent Jaqui a box of baked goods, as a "YAY, YOU DIDN'T GET SHOT" present. Jaqui is sharing with me and Evie, because these are MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF BAKED GOODS we're talking about. The caramel brownies are a mouthful of AWESOME.

...There is so much capslock in this post. I apologize for that.

I don't suck at updating, really. Okay, maybe I do. But I've actually been able to write these past few days, so that is shiny and awesome, especially if it continues. I'd really like to start working on my novel again, but I don't really feel like I'm able to do that until we've settled down somewhere, finally. But we're getting our apartment on the 5th, so yay!

Until then, I'll just try and finish that one Torchwood story of doom. As long as I finish it before a year has passed since I posted the first chapter... Yeah.

Jaqui got a new TV that works, and Evie is playing Devil May Cry. It's adorable when she plays games. She squeaks. Evie and I are still looking for a DVD player that plays data DVDs. It's annoying.

I'm thinking about a new layout for this journal. And for find_rightbrain. I just... need to decide what I want to do with both of them. I'm leaning toward things in black and white and gray, I just have to find layouts that fit that. Bah.

Regarding the Eleventh Doctor casting, ( Spoilers! )

And very quickly, some comm pimping for the new year. Okay, so they're not new comms, but they're comms I think deserve so much more attention, because I love them.

itsproductivity is a writing prompt comm that runs in January, April, July and October. If you're looking for something to get you writing small things this month, you should totally check it out. It's open to fandom and original writing, and I love the prompts there.

whoniverse1000 is a Whoniverse community in which the goal is getting 1000 fics written, each with a different pairing. Crossover and historical characters are allowed. We're 1/5 of the way there already, and I would so love to see it reach the goal. So if you write in the Whoniverse, maybe consider popping over there and writing a pairing or two? It's shiiiny.

Christmas is good. I got a phone. Or will be getting a phone, as soon as it is mailed to me. YAY, phone that actually works.

The best part was finally giving the Rift the soundtrack for season one. Aaaand the Santa post at the Rift. trollopfop is the best.

And I really wish I could brain for tags and stuff, because I have things I want to do. As it is, I'm going to stare moodily at my notebook for a while longer, and if that doesn't work, I'm writing up some fucking character profiles and plotting shit. Because that I can actually manage. Blargh.

I'd really like to watch the DW Christmas special, but I can't brain for that, and it's a horrible feeling. Mostly, I'm afraid it's going to break my heart, and I can't deal with that now. I'd ask if this is something I actually have to fear, but I don't want to be spoiled, so I don't know.

Yeah, I'm indecisive as hell today. I don't know why. This year has just been... an odd Christmas. It feels wrong, and I think it's mostly because I haven't been able to write giftfic for people, and I wasn't able to find any ficathons I wanted to participate in (no Doctor Who ficathons that weren't pairing-specific, and one general Torchwood one, but it was filled with Jack/Ianto shippers of the crazy variety). I hate that, because it's a major part of the holidays for me, writing things for my friends and for complete strangers. Not doing that, it kind of feels like I'm doing something wrong.

Rrrrh. Gmail randomly started denying my existence and not letting me log into anything. I fixed it, but in the process I had to clear out my cache and cookies and everything. All of which is not a problem, except that it wiped the journals on my LJ plugin. And now I'm almost certain that even after readding journals, I'm missing some. Bah.

I'm probably just out of sorts because my brain still isn't working right. These past few nights it's gotten to where I should be going to sleep and my general reaction is "...can't brain for sleep." Sleep is not something you should really have to brain for. It's exhausting.

Evie and I are leaving Iowa City on Friday, I think, assuming magi and L don't break our legs or something before then so we can't leave. Right now, Evie and magi and L are out getting soda, so that we can have alcohol and Zardoz. ...Yeah, our friendship is special.

I'm gonna go try to write now. Or just stare at notebooks and pretend I'm doing something productive. One of those.

LJ seems to be still not sending me notifications for some reason. Luckily, it seems to be working fine for all my RP journals (unless I'm... missing something...), it's mostly for replies to comments this journal leaves on other journals, but yes. If you left me a comment and I didn't answer, I'm not ignoring you, I probably just didn't get it.

We're heading up to Iowa City now, and soon we shall has a draegonhawke and a _coherent! Assuming we don't die on the way, because it's snowing on the way up there and oh God, I am so not driving in snow or ice or whatever. Especially considering the issues I have with just rain.

I'll let you all know we're not dead when we get there. Or if you're really concern you can text me. Most of you who are likely to worry have my number or can get it from someone who does, I think...

We need to get me a better jacket before we leave Tennessee. I was supposed to have an awesome swishy coat before we left Florida, but UPS fucked us over there. *Grump*

In Virginia Beach. Staying for Thanksgiving with my mother. Very tired. Will probably collapse soon.

I am really bad at driving. Especially in cities. I've been doing it anyway but GAH IT IS TERRIFYING. My back and shoulders and hands are all stiff from being tense the whole time.

Hit my head on the corner of the back door of the car earlier today, wrestling with the dog and her leash. Must have hit a nerve, because it hurt like hell. There were tears. Now there's just a bump that hurts when I poke it (so obviously I shouldn't do that), and I don't appear to have a concussion, so that's good.

And I may or may not have started the story that I know is going to kick off a stupidly epic DW-verse that's been lurking in my head for ages now. *Grumbles* I'm not going searching for PBs now. I have to sleep now. ...but tomorrow, I think I might.

Thanks to my mom, we have this room for tonight (alright, it's 5 AM now - shh) and tomorrow night, so hopefully that will mean when we start driving again, we won't be exhausted. Yaaay.

...I'm gonna go do a few tags now and then make puppy eyes at Evie so we can sleep.

My ctrl key is not working. I mean, it is, but only when I hit it REALLY FUCKING HARD, and it's driving me crazy. I get spazzy when my keyboard doesn't work right. Also, it's hard to hit the key that hard with that finger. Rrrh. And yeah, I could probably take off the key and fix whatever's wrong, but I'm concerned that if I took the key off I would just... make it not work at all. It's happened before.

And it's been a very frustrating day, all in all. Frustrating... few days, but today especially... And then I end up all stressed out and achy and trying not to snap at things. Luckily, it's all balanced out by wonderful plot things in the Rift and the awesomeness of Rizzy, but... still. I can do with that road trip ANY DAY NOW. (Soon, soon, OMGYAY. I get to see so many of my people.)

Anyway. Have a meme or two. First, from newredshoes:

The Rules: Sometimes it's ok to pimp yourself out. Post a list of your top five fic-favorites you've written, regardless of fandom or the reason you love them. This isn't about the BEST things you've written, but what you LOVE most. Then tag five other people to do the same.

The Other Rules: After each story, add a little something about what you learned about writing in the process. Or, if you didn't learn anything, add something that fits contextually with the time of writing the story.

( I've got a thing for assholes who tell good stories... )

And I don't usually tag for memes, but because I really like this one... starletfallen, kawaiispinel, trollopfop, draegonhawke, and _chibidragon_? If you would like to do this meme, I would be so pleased.

And the other meme, which requires much less work...
Which of my RP characters do you associate me with the most? Why?
I can kind of guess for most of you, but I'd like to know anyway.