It's not the way I'm meant to be...

[allfireburns]

I am so. Fucking. Tired. I don't even know why. I went to bed later than I'd have liked (not in general, just for the level of tired I was feeling by midnight last night, and I stayed up two hours past that), and got up earlyish (by which I mean 9:30) so Evie and I could go over to Saundra's and have marshmallows (which were amazing, by the way). And I took a nap immediately after getting home, and still feel like curling into a ball and not waking up for about a day and a half. WHY?

And I feel nauseous. I'm going to have a cup of coffee anyway - it won't make the nausea go away, but I'm so fucking tired, and that, at least, I can try to deal with.

I'm feeling... more than a little spazzy. I keep trying to do a million things at once and then freaking out when I can't. I'm thinking too fast and I don't like it at all. I did finish the Conrad Hotel page on the RiftWiki. Need to redo the map for the basement layout (I want it neater, not on notebook paper, and the layout itself has undergone some changes during gameplay that aren't reflected on the map), but I don't have a working scanner and really don't feel like fucking around with GIMP right now, so I'll have to do that later.

And I need to do Gwen's storylines, as soon as I find something to center them around. I'm trying to decide between Torchwood quotes, or lines from the various songs I've collected on my Jack/Gwen playlist, most of which are... really just good Gwen songs no matter what (The Fall of the World's Own Optimist, What If No One's Watching, Not a Pretty Girl... a couple others I can't think of now...). That playlist, by the way, is going to turn into a very sketchy mix. Not in the usual way certain pairings turn out sketchy (I have an exceedingly sketchy Walter/Molokov mix I still need to finish, and that Martha/Master), but... just a little unsettling, when you really think about it. 'Cause Jack doesn't mean to, but he fucks his kids up. Lots.

Also need to finish the Doctor's profile, but I really can't get my brain to focus well enough for that now. It's distressing.

I now have three characters I want to bring into the Rift. Four if Rizzy gives in and brings in that one other character, but... we're not talking about that now. One angel (who is actually not going to be on the angels' side, but is going to be completely neutral and it will be awesome), one demon, and one Slayer. Yep. Argh. I really need to find a way to kill at least Kara soon. I'm not ready to let go of any of the others, though a couple have targets on their backs for some time in the far future, but I could get rid of Kara, much as I love her. And it would at least lessen my character overload.

On second thought, caffeine may not be the best idea now. Considering that despite the tiredness, my brain is going to fast and my hands are shaking a little. What the hell? *Headdesks*

Should probably put this on the Rift filter, because the majority of this post is Rift-related, but... I just don't care that much right now. Sorry to non-Rift people. I still love you.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chibidragon_/]

*snugs tightly for the tiredness and nausea*

I'm probably going to give in and very soon by the way. So yeah, you might want to think about offing someone to get rid of the character overload. Even though death is sad and I love all of the Aubrey!characters so I will miss the ones that die. :/

BUT character overload generally leads to head explosion. And yeah, no. No exploding of your head. <3

[followedmystar.livejournal.com]

*Cuddleloves*

That's what I thought. Oh well. I've only myself to blame. And I want to kill Kara, I just... can't find anyone to do it. *Sulkpout* Why does no one conform to my sadistic whims?

(Don't mind the journal, I'm doing things with it and am too lazy to log back into my own.)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chibidragon_/]

*snuggles more*

I... there was something I was going to say- OH. Yes. I remember now. I was going to say that yeah, I don't have anyone who could fit that killing plot, anymore. No one evil. Really. Well, the Hunts are evil, but neither of them could qualify for it.

The other head voice I've had that could probably do it, that I was going to sedate and keep from bringing into the Rift by writing Rift!fic with him in it.. Yeah. I wasn't sure that I was going to bring him in, cause he scares me and the whole... implications of all of playing him boggles my mind. But he kills people violently and he'd kill anyone and he doesn't really die. Ever. I don't think. But yeah, mind boggling fear.

[draegonhawke.livejournal.com]

(If I may venture a guess as to the tired, I'm going to guess massive emotional drain from the boys.)

I'm actually considering sacrificing a few of my pups, sooner or later. Possibly to Romana's death crusade. <_<

[allfireburns.livejournal.com]

(That could be it, actually. I didn't even consider that. Arrgh. Boys. I so don't need this. But at least they're... stabler. Not stable, but...)

Ahah. Hah. Fun. God, Romana gets scarier and scarier the longer I play her. But that would be fun.

[draegonhawke.livejournal.com]

(Will they ever be stable? Is that something in their future?)

Yyyyeah. I'm thinking Maya may get caught in the crossfire--poor, poor Sam--and Angel may be wrestled into it somehow, and possibly Anya may go down if I want to drive Malek to jihad. (Am I allowed to make that joke? Or is it just too much, with the Arabic name?)

[allfireburns.livejournal.com]

(...Um. Far future, maybe? As in, millennia, assuming the Doctor survives that long? It's a process.)

Oh, man. Sam might break a little. (Not that I mind breaking Sam, 'cause I'm a sadist, but...) And oh, angry!Malek is something I would very much like to see. *Approves. And is apparently very bloody-minded*

[draegonhawke.livejournal.com]

(Kids. ...kids.)

So, what exactly does it take for someone to register as an innocent to Angel-sense? I mean, what's the basic criteria it takes to lose your wings over someone?

[allfireburns.livejournal.com]

I was actually wondering that earlier today. It hasn't been an issue thus far, and... yeah, gonna have to ask Rizzy on that one.

[draegonhawke.livejournal.com]

...I'm just going to be over here, snerking at that icon.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chibidragon_/]

Yes, it is a good question. And it's something that I've had go through my head several times in attempts to answer it. Thankfully it hasn't been an issue yet so I haven't had to come up with the answer, but...

Any demon is not innocent in Angel-sense. Even if the demon hasn't done anything bad, yet. Haha, poor demons.

Uh, as for humans/wanderers/and the like... the definition gets a bit hazy and more difficult to define. Murder is definite in the not innocent. Cold blooded murder. Rape. If someone is guilty of those traits, they are not considered innocent and can be killed by an angel without a loss of wings.

[draegonhawke.livejournal.com]

So, someone such as, say, a non-corrupt police officer might hypothetically, if we wanted him/her to, register as innocent. <.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chibidragon_/]

:o"

Yes, I should... think so.

It's a really hazy line, which is why most angels try to avoid killing humans if at all possible.

[alligatorade.livejournal.com]

Better to have a million things to do than none. When I have nothing to do, I find I get fuckall done. Somehow I need to be impossibly busy to stick to a schedule at all ...

[kawaiispinel.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Feel better, dearling. ♥

What we need is an epic death plot where all of us with excess headvoices just throw them to the wind.. Or something. I dunno. Sometime after the plague, I'm posting Ronnie in and just letting whoever wants her have at her. And then Penny's going down sometime after that. And... Yeah. Then three more headvoices come in and I resign myself to a life of head explosion until a decent plot comes along to wipe out the rest of them, except for the few I can't bear to part with, because I swear almost all of mine are expendable in one way or another.

Poor, poor Kara. *pets* She has to get one last jab at Sark before she goes out... When this plot of doom ends. Or something. And dammit, I wish I had a character for that plot even if it will create headvoice drama. The only evil character who could be a viable threat would probably be Missy in full Behemoth mode though. Grah. *flails*

[allfireburns.livejournal.com]

That would be nice. But yeah, I don't think it's going to happen any time soon. *Sigh*

I wish you had a character for that plot too. *Sigh* If it comes down to it, I'm going to make puppy eyes at you and FIND a way to use Missy, but... yeah.

[kawaiispinel.livejournal.com]

Well, we need some kind of plot next season. Maybe, if all else fails, we can figure out some way to kill off a bunch of people then. WE COULD HAVE A WAR. Or whatever. *nods* Of course, that's next season and... Yeah. *facepalm* I have three new people I plan on bringing in and a couple others that I may bring in and at least five characters I want to kill if I get the opportunity. It gets very complex. The pain, it is shared.

Damn me and my... Lack of useful evil characters. Although if we did have to go with Missy... It would be oddly painful for Kara to get killed by something else vaguely doglike.

[allfireburns.livejournal.com]

Ohoh. We have a massive plot of doom for next season fit to make the Calisto plot look like... well, Evie just put it very well, as it's like the Master (Buffyverse, let's not get carried away and make some crazy crossfandom comparisons that make no sense) compared to the end of Buffy S3. Yeah. Yeah. With some Angelus thrown in for good measure.

Oh. Oh, you're right. Now I actually really like that idea. Because... yeah. Witchdogs freak Kara out more than anything else, and Missy's close enough that... ooooh.

[kawaiispinel.livejournal.com]

Hee. That sounds awesome. We really do need an epic plot that requires immense amounts of character death, seriously. WHAT TV SHOW DOESN'T HAVE ONE OF THOSE... Granted, it's usually the season finale, BUT THE RIFT WILL NEVER DIE...Just the characters. Repeatedly.

Now I'm kinda happy I went with Hellhound for her skerry demon form if I knew it would work out that well. XD Ohhh dear. Missy, you are a scary, scary bitch and I kinda love you.