Aubrey (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
allfireburns) wrote2010-12-18 04:22 am
allfireburns) wrote2010-12-18 04:22 am
So come on now, we've got our sides to pick...
This post is just going to be a succession of unconnected... things, because I cannot be bothered to make it coherent. Deal with it. :|
1) I had to default on Yuletide. This annoys me, but I had nothing written and no ideas, and even if I had somehow managed to whip out something before the deadline, it would likely only be disappointing to the recipient, which I did not want. I'm hoping I'll be able to write some treats for people or something to make myself feel better. There are some fandoms I am dying to write in, so hopefully something will click.
2) I've been canon reviewing for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
w_for_wizard for months now. Because I'm dumb and keep picking up book characters (...okay, two). And because I keep trying to read, like, four books at once, this canon review is moving along more slowly than some glaciers. But I finished reading Fool Moon yesterday. And typed up my notes... which turned out to be three times longer than my notes for SF. The rest of this canon review is going to be fun. (The idea is that if I take enough notes, when I'm done I will only have to drag out the books when I need to remember a specific line or description or something. Chances this theory is true: slim to none.)
But the general point of this ramble is... I had somehow convinced myself that I really didn't like this book, but it seemed a lot better this time around. (This is only the second time I've read it, the first time being... uh... when I was still living in Florida? Something like that.) There are still some parts that make me wonder why the editor kept it in the book, and Harry is a lot more immature (and therefore occasionally more obnoxious) than he is in later books, but it's... much better when you already like Harry and Murphy. Harry's attempt at a dramatic death scene in the last chapter made me laugh until I cried... aaaand then I remembered his actual death scene and suddenly it wasn't so funny anymore. Damn it, Butcher.
Anyway. I really need to speed up my canon review if I want to be done by the time Ghost Story is out. Which... would be really, really nice, but doesn't seem too likely at this point.
3) SO I AM HAVING THIS PROBLEM WITH RP. ...before anyone freaks out, it isn't with a specific game or person. It's more a general sort of thing that is bothering me, possibly because I am just neurotic and worry about these things way more than I really should.
My issue right now is basically that... I keep wanting to make posts or tags where my characters admit, even just in narration, that all they really want to do is curl up somewhere and just cry. They're all alone, they're far away from home, none of this is anywhere in their realm of experience, and they're just extremely stressed and overwhelmed by the entire world of the game right now.
There are two problems with this. First: I don't know how to do it without it being interpreted as some ploy for sympathy, even if they don't admit those feelings out loud. Or I don't know, angsting for the sake of angst.
Second: I am mostly tempted to do this with my girls right now (much less Tarma than Meredith and Emily, but still). And it's not because they're girls, it's because the boys I'm playing right now are the Doctor and Harry, who are both way more capable of dealing with this shit (and if it weren't for Murphy's existence in the game, Harry would probably want to curl up and cry for a while too). Even so... I don't know. Same fear of "gratuitous angst", plus the added "strong female characters shouldn't show girly emotions" thing (not that anyone who believes that is going to care about Meredith's life in the first place, but that's beside the point).
I get that a certain amount of emotional turmoil does need to be skimmed over to make a game work, sometimes. It's not fun to play a constant angstball, and it's not fun to play against them. And not all characters are going to have that kind of emotional stress when stuck in a jamjar, because their lives are just that weird anyway.
But especially for characters from a basically mundane canon, especially if they don't have any canonmates and before they make friends there... If you were kidnapped, stuck in a strange place with a bunch of people you don't know, with no way out and no knowledge of when (if) you'd be going home, I would bet you'd want to hide and cry periodically too. I've been there, and a little more serious freaking out on the part of jamjar characters would not be unrealistic, and I don't just mean in their intro posts. (...LOL, that sentence made that particular life experience sound way worse than it was. I WAS NEVER KIDNAPPED BY FAIRIES AND STUCK IN A MAGICAL JAMJAR, I PROMISE.)
And yet... even knowing that it's basically realistic and completely in character for the characters in question, I keep staring at the tag I'm trying to write and then... flailing and going to do something else. Because I know it looks like a cry for attention or an attempt to get people to coddle my character or something, and it makes complete sense that people would interpret it that way when everyone else is adapting pretty easily to all this weirdness and here are my kids trying not to have a meltdown when they haven't even had anything particularly traumatic (by game standards) happen to them.
...I'm not sure what the point of all this was. There may not have been one. And it's possible I need to stop thinking about this and just do my fucking tags and let the rest sort itself out, BUT OH GOD I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW BAD IT MUST LOOK. *Awkward shuffle*
4) Possible Christmas party with Beka tomorrow. (Uh. Later today, actually, at this point.) I might have to be sociable. With people. Out in the world. Oh god I might die.
...I mean. Getting out of the house is awesome and all, but OH GOD PEOPLE. STRANGERS, EVEN. I AM NEVER GOOD AT THAT SORT OF THING. *Hides forever* ...and I should probably go to bed right fucking now if I want to get anything done before I have to go out in the world. Crap.
1) I had to default on Yuletide. This annoys me, but I had nothing written and no ideas, and even if I had somehow managed to whip out something before the deadline, it would likely only be disappointing to the recipient, which I did not want. I'm hoping I'll be able to write some treats for people or something to make myself feel better. There are some fandoms I am dying to write in, so hopefully something will click.
2) I've been canon reviewing for
w_for_wizard for months now. Because I'm dumb and keep picking up book characters (...okay, two). And because I keep trying to read, like, four books at once, this canon review is moving along more slowly than some glaciers. But I finished reading Fool Moon yesterday. And typed up my notes... which turned out to be three times longer than my notes for SF. The rest of this canon review is going to be fun. (The idea is that if I take enough notes, when I'm done I will only have to drag out the books when I need to remember a specific line or description or something. Chances this theory is true: slim to none.)But the general point of this ramble is... I had somehow convinced myself that I really didn't like this book, but it seemed a lot better this time around. (This is only the second time I've read it, the first time being... uh... when I was still living in Florida? Something like that.) There are still some parts that make me wonder why the editor kept it in the book, and Harry is a lot more immature (and therefore occasionally more obnoxious) than he is in later books, but it's... much better when you already like Harry and Murphy. Harry's attempt at a dramatic death scene in the last chapter made me laugh until I cried... aaaand then I remembered his actual death scene and suddenly it wasn't so funny anymore. Damn it, Butcher.
Anyway. I really need to speed up my canon review if I want to be done by the time Ghost Story is out. Which... would be really, really nice, but doesn't seem too likely at this point.
3) SO I AM HAVING THIS PROBLEM WITH RP. ...before anyone freaks out, it isn't with a specific game or person. It's more a general sort of thing that is bothering me, possibly because I am just neurotic and worry about these things way more than I really should.
My issue right now is basically that... I keep wanting to make posts or tags where my characters admit, even just in narration, that all they really want to do is curl up somewhere and just cry. They're all alone, they're far away from home, none of this is anywhere in their realm of experience, and they're just extremely stressed and overwhelmed by the entire world of the game right now.
There are two problems with this. First: I don't know how to do it without it being interpreted as some ploy for sympathy, even if they don't admit those feelings out loud. Or I don't know, angsting for the sake of angst.
Second: I am mostly tempted to do this with my girls right now (much less Tarma than Meredith and Emily, but still). And it's not because they're girls, it's because the boys I'm playing right now are the Doctor and Harry, who are both way more capable of dealing with this shit (and if it weren't for Murphy's existence in the game, Harry would probably want to curl up and cry for a while too). Even so... I don't know. Same fear of "gratuitous angst", plus the added "strong female characters shouldn't show girly emotions" thing (not that anyone who believes that is going to care about Meredith's life in the first place, but that's beside the point).
I get that a certain amount of emotional turmoil does need to be skimmed over to make a game work, sometimes. It's not fun to play a constant angstball, and it's not fun to play against them. And not all characters are going to have that kind of emotional stress when stuck in a jamjar, because their lives are just that weird anyway.
But especially for characters from a basically mundane canon, especially if they don't have any canonmates and before they make friends there... If you were kidnapped, stuck in a strange place with a bunch of people you don't know, with no way out and no knowledge of when (if) you'd be going home, I would bet you'd want to hide and cry periodically too. I've been there, and a little more serious freaking out on the part of jamjar characters would not be unrealistic, and I don't just mean in their intro posts. (...LOL, that sentence made that particular life experience sound way worse than it was. I WAS NEVER KIDNAPPED BY FAIRIES AND STUCK IN A MAGICAL JAMJAR, I PROMISE.)
And yet... even knowing that it's basically realistic and completely in character for the characters in question, I keep staring at the tag I'm trying to write and then... flailing and going to do something else. Because I know it looks like a cry for attention or an attempt to get people to coddle my character or something, and it makes complete sense that people would interpret it that way when everyone else is adapting pretty easily to all this weirdness and here are my kids trying not to have a meltdown when they haven't even had anything particularly traumatic (by game standards) happen to them.
...I'm not sure what the point of all this was. There may not have been one. And it's possible I need to stop thinking about this and just do my fucking tags and let the rest sort itself out, BUT OH GOD I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW BAD IT MUST LOOK. *Awkward shuffle*
4) Possible Christmas party with Beka tomorrow. (Uh. Later today, actually, at this point.) I might have to be sociable. With people. Out in the world. Oh god I might die.
...I mean. Getting out of the house is awesome and all, but OH GOD PEOPLE. STRANGERS, EVEN. I AM NEVER GOOD AT THAT SORT OF THING. *Hides forever* ...and I should probably go to bed right fucking now if I want to get anything done before I have to go out in the world. Crap.