I wouldn't want to drive cross-country in a bus full of my kids, but you're right. Goats would be worse. Goats would smell on top of being obnoxious and unruly.

As an alternative to trading them in for lemurs, I might be able to find someone who could turn them into lemurs until they started behaving. If nothing else, if lemurs misbehave, you can lock them in small cages in the basement.